Catch Feelings… in a Roach Trap

Each year, I support wildlife conservation and self love through a little ritual thanks to The Bronx Zoo. I name a cockroach after an ex for Valentine’s day. It’s cathartic, tax-deductible, and includes a little gift for yourself!

Meet my roaches from 2018 and 2017.

In the realm of love, I’m focusing on myself this year and letting go of a BIG relationship. So my ritual will help me let go of the years of pain and sadness. I chose the bundle with a candle I can burn – it’s like the Bronx Zoo knows about this annual ritual by now 🤣

I wrote this cheesy little poem on my certificate this year. When it arrives, I’ll be in my new apartment. I’ll meditate over the certificate, visualizing Raid spray dousing the negative memories and pain, creating a bug-proof barrier around my heart to protect from further infestation of abuse and darkness. Then, I’ll burn the certificate to make sure there’s no lingering energy. Each time I light the candle, I’ll think about the ways insects nurture our bodies and environment, how they transform and adapt through the stages of their lives, and how resilient they are in the face of a world that is largely out to destroy them.

Name your own roach here before Feb 4th to get your items before Valentine’s Day! Who’s on your hex list?

Your Love Won’t Survive a Nuclear Apocalypse, but These Guys Will

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Each year, I support wildlife conservation and self love by naming a cockroach after an ex for Valentine’s Day. It’s cathartic, tax-deductible, and includes chocolate! Seeing that all my heartbreakers have been roached already (and my Ryan remains in good standing for the time being), there was only one glaringly obvious choice for the 2018 naming honor. Donald J. Trump. Middle initial and everything.

Here’s what I wrote:

Donald J. Trump
You disgrace the podium & everything this country was made on.
You’re not worth the Cheeto dust this roach trails through.
You won’t reduce me from a 6 figure salary to just a 6 on a good day.

Now that it’s out there, I kind of hear Eminem rapping it in my head.

The Bronx Zoo has been doing this wildlife conservation donation drive for years and I truly love it. With the near-daily threat of nuclear winter, your roach could be the only legacy I leave behind. They offer a few different donation tiers that come with various treats. This year they really pulled out all the stops with the add-ons. The top tier treats include your name certificate, a pin, roach SOCKS, and chocolate roaches. Yes, please!

Seriously, how CUTE are these?? Look at those cocoa creepies! 🐜

If you just want to donate and get a digital certificate, it’s only $15. Of course, you can mix and match the add-ons or buy just one of them. It’s such a cute and creative little Galentine’s Day gift for yourself (or a friend). All for a good cause and your own levity. And chocolate 🍫.