Bayonetta 2

It took me about 8 hours to finish Bayonetta 2 on Saturday. I wanted it to take longer. Plot-wise, It actually should have been shorter. Bayonetta herself seemed much softer in this game. Still a badass, but more emotionally tied to other characters than she even was to child Cereza in the first game. Her softening is likely due to the return of her memories. Now she has a close relationship with Jeanne (and extra fab wardrobe).


In this adventure, the balance between Inferno and Paradiso has shifted. The demons employed by the witches turn against them and Jeanne gets dragged to Hell. Bayonetta has a limited window to save Jeanne’s soul before it’s devoured forever. So we’re battling angels AND demons this time around.


These were two of the most fun demon battles. My favorite was the Alurana battle. She was a giant mantis with Jeanne’s soul dissolving in her abdomen. Once defeated, Jeanne’s soul is rescued, but her revival scene was anticlimactic. We ALMOST lost her! I spent most of the game on a quest to save her. I wanted more out of this huge scene before racing off to restore the balance of chaos.


Bayonetta’s fashion is on point. I love her sleek, sophisticated new look. Her character really does seem to have evolved nicely as her relationships have developed, but I was confused by the return of Luka and Enzo. I get the Enzo is her informant/comic relief, but the Guido stereotype jokes are stale and Bayonetta doesn’t really need him to gather intel. He could be replaced by one line of dialogue. As for Luka, I don’t understand his role at all. In this game, he’s dressed like a cowboy and his relationship with Bayonetta has not evolved in the slightest. He appears when the childlike figure of Loki needs to be carted around, much like child Cereza in the first game. Beyond that, he serves no purpose. I would very much like it if he did not appear in the 3rd game.

IMG_7061I love the barrier breaking heart-shot too.

Bayonetta 3 will probably see the return of Loki/Aesir, likely some new irritating child figure and Balder for sure with another massive Balder battle like Bayonetta 1. I’m excited to see how Bayonetta further evolves in the next game and what new characters we might meet. I’m 100% sure they’ll be:



Thoughts on Bayonetta

After a very intense Splatfest that resulted in a heartbreaking loss for Team Money💸👼🏻, I was ready to dive into something new. On Friday, Nintendo released Bayonetta 2 for Switch. The physical copy comes with a code for the first Bayonetta game so I figured this was a good time to give the series a go. Ryan sweetly picked me up a copy and my long weekend disappeared into Vigrid.



First of all, this is not the kind of game I’m used to seeing on a Nintendo console. I wrote emails to Nintendo for MONTHS begging them to bring The Binding of Issac to 3DS. I always got the response that due to the religious themes and overtones of the game, they weren’t allowing it. That game is now out on both 3DS and Switch. In Bayonetta, you are literally a bad-as-fuck dark witch whose main goal is essentially to destroy God as well as all the angels and beings of light that may stand in your way. It’s brutal. It’s incredible!

I’m a big fan of the noir style of the game. Many cut scenes employ still frames of film scrolling by to help tell the story. There are a lot of sepia-toned flashbacks, black and white and red lipstick, and of course, gangsters and shady bartenders who might be devils. Rodin might be my favorite NPC.


Bayonetta is on a mission to uncover her past as well a mysterious jewel called the Right Eye. On her journey, she fights all manner of cherubim and demi-dieties who hint at her impending role in the resurrection of Jubileus, The Creator. I did not immediately notice that her outfit is composed of her own hair, which she can also wield as a conduit to summon demons!. The hair dragon and hair raven were two of my favorite manifestations.



Of course, the game is deeply sexy, but Bayonetta is always in full control of her sexual agency, which I really appreciate. She’s not there to be sexy for the male characters; she’s there being sexy for herself and kicking angel ass. It’s so refreshing to play a female protagonist who is so unapologetically feminine and fearless. Aside from her gun-heeled stilettos, she keeps her outfit changes in a compact and fires her lipstick like a bullet to finish a critical battle near the end of the game. So empowering.


I played through this game with my jaw on the floor mostly. The innuendo. The violent and graphic destruction of angelic beings. Bayonetta’s nudity every time she summons another hair demon. This has to be my favorite scene of all time.

It never gets old and I cannot stop watching it! Bayonetta is the witch I’ve always wanted to be. How did I not play this game sooner? I’m looking forward to playing Bayonetta 2 this week. Until Then, don’t ever forget these immortal words of wisdom:


2018 Games Wishlist


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The Legend of Bum-bo – From the creators of The Binding of Isaac, the game I’ve put more hours into than probably any other game (and on 4 different platforms), comes this charming as fuck cardboard puzzle RPG. It has all the morbidity and grime as Isaac with a completely new play style and story. So far it will be out on PC and iOS… sometime this year.

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Fe – All I care about is getting to play an adorable creature, howling in the forest among stunningly gorgeous artwork. It reminds me a lot of Ori and the Blind Forest, which I absolutely adored. I’m so looking forward to exploring this whimsical world (in March… because it releases February 16th and #NoSpendFeb😪).

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Project Octopath Traveler – Download the demo if you haven’t. This game is going to be awesome. I really enjoyed Primrose’s storyline. Come on, a badass stripper who carves her own path, leaves destruction in her wake, and essentially tells her “master” to go fuck himself? YES, PLEASE! Olberic’s story was a lot more “traditional” RPG. Last of his kind. Soldier. Protecting a village. Wrestling with some past trauma. Still, I enjoyed his little piece of the demo as well. The HD-2D art style makes the landscapes visually rich and compelling while feeding my nostalgia for the 16-bit sprites of my early Final Fantasy days. I can’t wait to see who the other 6 characters are and how their paths cross.

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Owlboy – This released a while back, but I want it for my Switch. It looks like an interesting concept with cool art. I’m reminded of the Shantae games, which is one of my favorite series of all time. I’m curious about the flying mechanics, because I’m terrible at any game where I have to fly. Should be interesting!


Kingdom Hearts III – Wow. It has been a while since I played a Kingdom Hearts game. I believe I dropped off somewhere in the early stages of Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance, so I’m not far behind. I distinctly remember driving up to NYC (I was living in South Jersey in 2012) for the launch event at Nintendo NY where I purchased the Collector’s Edition. At some point, I traded in the game for lack of play. (*adds KH3D:DDD to wishlist*) I just hope this one isn’t too convoluted with characters. Sometimes the Disney Prozac effect can be really, REALLY exhausting.

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Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (kickstarter) – Still waiting for an official release date on this one. I backed it on Kickstarter back when I was trying to impress some guy. Luckily I’m also a fan of metroid-vania games. With another badass woman playing the protagonist, it’s going to be a must-play for me.

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Knights and Bikes – This is another Kickstarter I backed in 2016. The creators describe it like The Goonies, but with little girls kicking up hell on a small British island. It looks to be a fascinating adventure and reminds me of biking around my own small island town with my friends as a kid, getting into all sorts of trouble. All the characters and scenery are hand-painted in a lovely aesthetic – sharp color contrasts really bring them to life. The game mechanics and battle system are incredibly creative. Still waiting for a release date, but I’m hoping it comes this year. Not once has a game I backed released remotely near the original window. It’s almost always like 2 years later.

Game Updates: Splatoon 2

I’d love to go pro in Splatoon eventually. Now that I have time to practice, I’ve joined a clan! Great group. Killer players. I get to practice regularly, perfect my strategies and master stages I h-a-t-e-d before. Sometimes I even try out other weapons – trying to become more versatile in my arsenal proficiency.

I’m a Siren!


My W/L ratio remained stuck at a pretty even scale for a while, but now? NOW? I’m crushing it. And only getting better. Tonight, this divide will grow even greater!


And it’s not just my ratio that’s improved. I’ve ranked up almost everywhere. Clam Blitz has been slow going with randoms, but I actually really enjoy that mode even though I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who knows how to play. Most games I’m playing offense, defense, jammer, goalie AND slayer. And I still win.


S rank is within my grasp! See you out there, squids!

2017 Credits

Let ’em roll!

2017 was the fastest year I think I’ve ever experienced. That’s probably a good thing. I did a lot of great things and fought through a lot of not so great things. Trying to navigate this weird new reality around me and find my center every day. It was a year I spent trying to distract myself FROM everything WITH everything. My depression got REALLY bad as a result. Kind of a mess, but this bull is ready to lock horns with 2018 and make some magic every damn day.

What I did // Got a sneak peak at the Nintendo Switch in January. Became an IBMer and landed my dream job! Ran my 5th 15k. Had a kick ass time in NOLA for my sister’s bachelorette weekend. And then served as Maid of Honor in her gorgeous wedding! Saw Shakespeare in the Park. Lost $200 and felt horribly out of place at the Belmont Stakes. Stuffed my face at Donutfest with Gluxbox. Spent a magical 4th of July at Coney Island with all my freakshow friends. Checked out the INCREDIBLE Jim Henson Exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image. Saw so many concerts I started a new section here dedicated to Live Shows. Was completely underwhelmed by NYCC. Experienced one of the greatest Penn State Football games of all time vs Michigan and was part of a record-breaking crowd over #110kStrong. Went fly fishing and caught the most monstrous brown trout ever. Checked out a lot of cool new breweries.

Most-played albums // Bush*Black and White Rainbows + all the other albums, of course / Gorillaz*Humanz / Band of Skulls*By Default / The Dead Deads*Rainbeau + For Your Obliteration / Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds*Who Built the Moon / The Orwells*Disgraceland + Terrible Human Beings

Most-loved shows & films // Master of None. Game Of Thrones. Rick and Morty. 13 Reasons Why (even though watching it made me relive a lot of horrible shit). GLOW. Blade Runner 2049. American Vandal. Stranger Things 2. The Lure – a horror-musical mermaid Polish film. Love (more like hate-watching this one). Easy. Salem. Black Mirror

Places I Traveled // Austin, TX (not as weird as advertised), NOLA (If you need recommendations, I have them all!), Atlanta, GA to the Coca-Cola HQ. Philly. Monterrey, Mexico.

Live Shows I Attended // Paul Gilbert. Morgan James. The Gin Blossoms (and caught a pick!). Garbage x Blondie. Bush x 3!!! Paul McCartney (and Bruce Springsteen came out for the encore!). Brian Wilson. A Perfect Circle.

Top purchases // Nintendo Switch! Neon Yellow joycons for said Switch. Velociraptor socks at The Strand. Oliver Hibert’s Tarot and Secret Arcana. SNES Classic. Gold boots (they make me feel like a goddess and I get TONS of compliments every time I wear them). Apple Watch Series 3 – lifechanging. Passion Planner so I can make goals and break them down into tasks to ensure I’m staying centered, practicing gratitude and moving forward/upward.

Style obsessions // Gamer bounding (sometimes accidentally). So much black. Bomber jackets. Biker boots. Leopard and suede. Pins (all of the pins). Metallics. Trucker hats (I somehow amassed a collection as if it’s 2002…). Vintage t-shirts. Black and white leggings with psychedelic patterns.

Best things I did for myself // Started a Bullet Journal. Created a daily tarot ritual. Crystal bed therapy- I had some insane visions and left feeling both balanced/relaxed AND more powerful than ever! Ramped up my side hustle on – I made over $3,000 to hang out with so many awesome dogs! Got an Equinox membership- it’s sweaty, eucalyptus scented bliss and the most motivating gym I’ve ever been to. Tried a spin class and got addicted to the bike. Stopped being ashamed of my depression and learned to ask for help when I need it.

Top games // The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch). Shantae: Half Genie Hero (PS4). Ever Oasis (3DS). Splatoon 2 (Switch). Stardew Valley (Switch). Super Mario Odyssey (Switch). Night in the Woods (PS4). Metroid: Samus Returns (3DS). Destiny 2 (Xbox). Golf Story (Switch). Oxenfree (PS4). Animal Crossing Pocket Camp (Mobile- I know! Never thought I’d see the day…). Worms W.M.D (Switch). The End is Nigh (Switch).

What were your biggest highlights of the year?

Litany of Gaming

I don’t remember a time when I didn’t have access to some type of gaming system, whether it was a Tiger electronics handheld,  those “learning” games you had to plug into the TV before computers were a household item, or a Tamagotchi (hey, it counts!).

I started playing games with my family as a social activity. My mom, sister and aunt would play sometimes and I had 2 younger cousins who lived down the block who were into games for a while. Of all of us, I’m the only one who still plays. I’m terrible with dates, but I want to go back as far as possible. I hope you’ll share your history too!

The Fuzzy Days: One of my aunts had an old IBM PC with a game called Gertrude that I begged her to let me play during every visit. My other aunt got an early Macintosh and I would watch my cousins play Chuck Yeager’s Air Combat. I was awful at it because of the inverse controls. While I’m STILL awful with inverse controls, one of those cousins has his pilots license now.


1990 My first system was the NES. I don’t remember being aware of it or asking for it, but we had one. At this point I lived with my mom and sister so it probably kept us out of my mom’s hair with minimal fighting.I begged my mom to take me to the video store on the reg to rent Little Nemo: The Dream Master.

Around this time my cousins down the street got the SNES and we played Top Gear (that music!) and Mario Kart every day before and after school. My stepbrother also had an SNES as well as a PC he played on. He wouldn’t let me play, but I watched him play Final Fantasy, X-Com, Doom and Wolfenstein for hours.

At my dad’s house I had a Sega Genesis and all the Sonic games up to Sonic & Knuckles. Dad sometimes played Ecco the Dolphin with me, but we couldn’t get very far.

1992? I asked for a Gameboy for Christmas so I could play on the 2.5 hour ride to and from my dad’s house every other weekend. I was all about Pokemon and Yoshi’s Cookies. I skipped Game Boy Color. I still have that original Gameboy though.

Original GameBoy Nintendo

Still works!

1996 For Christmas, I got the N64. My cousins got it too and we proximity mined each other into oblivion and hysterics in GoldenEye. Ocarina of Time was the first major Zelda game I really played through and understood. Mario 64 is still my favorite Mario game.

I skipped Nintendo consoles for a while after that, but kept up on handhelds.

1999 I graduated grade school and my mom took me to Toys R Us to get a Sega Dreamcast with my graduation money. I wanted it because I loved Sonic the Hedgehog and the VMUs/save cards were like mini Gameboys. I never got to play much on it because an earthquake in Japan made the VMUs scarce in the US. I couldn’t save my games or enjoy the handheld aspect so that ruined it.

2001 I asked my mom for PS2 for Christmas. I was a Jr in high school and obsessed with Final Fantasy. I upgraded to the PS2 Lite at some point in college. At some point I spent some of my summer earnings on a Gameboy Advance. It was pink and see-through and I loved it. Golden Sun and Final Fantasy Tactics were favorites.

2003 I upgraded to a Gameboy SP.

I skipped GameCube. It was ugly aesthetically and I thought I had outgrown Nintendo consoles. I had a little exposure to it through a friend, but felt meh about it in general. When the Wii came out,  I saw it as a general sports console. My cousins got one for Christmas the year it released, but I was never interested and our moms played it more than any of us did.

Although watching my late grandfather hit a home run with the wiimote remains one of my favorite Christmas memories. Ever.


Grampi hit a home run and we all jumped out of our seats.

2004/2005 I bought the original Nintendo DS. Then, I upgraded to the DS Lite and played it all the time. I skipped the DSi and XLs because I didn’t see the need. My

In 2006 or 7 I traded up for a PS3, which I wanted for the next Final Fantasy games mostly.

March 27th 2011, I picked up my preordered Nintendo 3DS in blue, which I still have. I was still playing my DS Lite until this point. I wanted to replay Ocarina of Time on handheld and was also really driven to buy because of the 3D gimmick and the concept of Streetpass. Several social groups sprouted around Streetpass to encourage people to meet and play. Backwards compatibility was a big draw for me too, with all systems.

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Meet the family!

November 2012 I picked up a Wii U at launch. I don’t remember why I wanted this console. I think I wanted to give Nintendo another try? I did not play it much. I was still really into PS3 and my 3DS. I started playing it a lot more when Splatoon came out, but that was toward the end of the system’s lifespan.

In May 2013, I bought the 3DS XL Animal Crossing Edition. I wasn’t planning to upgrade until I saw this gorgeous edition. I am obsessed with Animal Crossing. That and Zelda are the only two Nintendo IPs I really love. I still have this system as well.

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Still one of my favorite 3DSXL designs

For Christmas 2014 I asked my mom for an Xbox One. I had never had an Xbox so I wanted to see what the big deal was and try a new console.

In February 2015 I bought the NEW Nintendo 3DS XL Majora’s Mask edition for myself for Galentine’s Day. Wasn’t planning to upgrade because I love my Animal Crossing 3DS but I had been bugging Nintendo to port Binding of Isaac for a couple of years at this point and they were finally releasing it but only on the New 3DS because of the C stick. This is my current 3DS.

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Muldoon likes taking care of his Nintendogs.

December 2015. A dude from Tinder sent me a PS4 because we were having a great chat volley about games, (but he was only in the US for one night and I was not about to meet up with that) and he wanted to play with me on PS4, which I said I did not have. I thought it was a joke, but gave him a secure address and sure enough, the PS4 showed up with his real name on the receipt. I googled him to find him very married AND with a newborn. I kept the PS4 as Asshole Tax.

December 2016 I picked up the NES Classic because nostalgia.

March 2, 2017 my Nintendo Switch arrived at my office a day before release. Breath of the Wild wouldn’t show up until the next day. I wasn’t originally planning on getting a Switch, having been disappointed with my Wii U, but I literally cried at the trailer for Breath of the Wild. Also Splatoon 2. Also the best indie support Nintendo has ever had (I play games on PC rarely, preferring consoles, but loving the endless game options on Steam). I also got to attend a preview event for the Switch where I got to experience all of its configurations and capabilities. I was impressed. And it brought back that social aspect I love about the 3DS.

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Can I have all the joy con colors please?

September 2017 I picked up the SNES Classic because nostalgia.

So that’s where I am. Currently no plans to upgrade the PS4 and Xbox One. If an N64 Mini is announced I’ll be all over that. But this sort of feels like the last generation of console gaming. As the industry moves to mobile, AR and VR, the way we interact with games is going to change drastically.

What has your gaming litany looked like? Which systems were your favorites?

Splat Fashion

I sincerely hope someone is working on a Splatoon based clothing line. Never have I loved fashion more than when I’m equipping my inkling to optimize her abilities and make sure she’s SUPERFRESH!  Since release, I’ve played enough to keep an abundant cash flow coming in and buy everything I wanted fairly easily.

Inkling Girl with School Cardigan, Power Mask, Aeropray MG Pink

After School Special

Mean Green Beret Inkling Girl

Mean Green Beret

I’ve been splurging and shedding gear pretty readily. SplatNet2 lets me check in on the scene throughout the day so I can make sure I’m not missing choice new looks, but I think (for now) my gear shuffle is over.

Salmon Run uniform, rubber waders, Splatoon 2, Inking Girl

Fly fishing or fish frying?

When I’m not scrubbing a Splatfest tshirt for ability chunks, or rocking rubber head to toe for Salmon Run, I’m splatting in a Special Forces Beret, Black Inky Rider and Gold Hi-Horses.

Splatoon 2 Gold Hi-Horses

Gold Hi-Horses are getting some hate, but clearly you nerds don’t know how IN metallics are. They’re glorious. I love the exaggerated chunkiness and Mine came with Run Speed Up and the slots unlocked Quick Super Jump, Run Speed Up, and Ink Resistance. I’m pretty ok with this line-up, but if I can find a pair with Stealth Jump, I’d grab those and add some Swim Speed over the Run Speed.

Splatoon 2 Black Inky Rider

I have both the Black and White Inky Riders (because it’s always great to have a backup!), but favor Black Inky for speed. I hit a trifecta of Run Speed Ups on that one in addition to the main attribute: Ink Saver (Sub). I’m heavy sub users so it comes in handy. My dream is to find one with Ninja Squid and fit it with a mix of Speed and/or Ink Resistance.

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And because I’m a badass from toe to head, I’ve crowned myself with the Special Forces Beret. My ideal set up here would mix Special Gauge Up with Ink Savers, main and sub. I’m a strategic bomb flinger so I need to be able to hurl a bomb without draining my tank entirely.

Alternate set ups include the Blue Moto Boots, Skull Bandana, and Camo Zip Hoodie with Ninja Squid.

Thanks to Murch’s killer deal on Splatfest T scrubs, I’ve been able to build up a nice little stock of ability chunks to prepare for my future murdersuit. What does your gear set up look like?