Friday Five- Your Wish Is YOUR Command

If ever there was a year to start a regular gratitude ritual, this one is it. Recommended writing for all of you who need to shrug off the “ugh” and rewire your brain to see the positive. So in addition to one of today’s 5 things, this weekly list of things I’m loving will also serve as a cheery space.

1. An Uncluttered Life.
“The thing most people resist when making a big change [is] the idea that they have to give up some things they may like to get what they love. And they stumble over this.” Since my boyfriend moved in on the 1st, every day has been an exercise in decluttering. I’ve become a better organizer. I’ve learned to let go of things that I like, but that no longer serve me. This applies to my emotional and spiritual self too. I spent a lot of time making due with things that I liked while waiting for what I wanted without realizing that what I wanted couldn’t come until I made the space for it. “it isn’t what you add to your life that makes it great; it’s what you take away.” Toss whatever clutters your heart, your mind, body and your physical space so you have ROOM for the things you want to come into your life.

2. Adopt a Roach for Valentine’s Day. Support the Wildlife Conservation Society and rid yourself of pesky ex (or patriarchy 🙄) energy with this little ritual. This is such a cute and creative little Galentine’s gift for yourself (or a friend who needs to laugh over a former flame). No ill will. All for a good cause and your own levity. And chocolate 🍫. Most importantly chocolate.

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Heyyyyyyyy

3. Shantae: Half Genie Hero. Way back in 2013 I backed this game on Kickstarter because I have a massive crush on Shantae. I just love this little ass kickin’, hair whippin’ heroine and her latest adventures are a WISH GRANTED! I’ve been streaming a little, but mostly I’m playing offline to work on a speedrun later. I will definitely be streaming more. From counterfeit mermaid factories to magic carpet races, intense platforming challenges are woven into a creative storyline that keeps me engaged in every town in Sequin Land. Highly recommend this game. Seriously, get it. Or you’ll feel like this bro.

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You guys don’t get to peek inside yet…

4. Bullet Journaling. The basic premise of a bullet journal is that it combines your planner, to-do list and journal into one simplified system for organizing your life and tracking patterns. There are a ton of different ways to set it up. Here are some ideas. Mine doesn’t look NEARLY so pretty, but I’m seeing positive changes related to mood, appetite and creative output among other things.

I also carved out a space each month for daily gratitude. The goal is to write one thing each day, but some days there are tons! Watching the list build is positive reinforcement in the beauty of the universe enough! Other suggestions for sections- book reading tracker, doodle space, poem prompts and scream boxes (for when you really need to let it all out). And if you’re one of those Washi tape people, go crazy! I’m barely a straight lines person.

5. Soulmates. 🧀. When I was 15, I was madly in love with a boy 2 grades ahead of me. He was popular and athletic, but also dark and brooding and mysterious. I was weird and artsy, often spacing out and constantly scribbling in journals. Somehow, we became friends. He convinced me to manage the Boy’s Tennis team and we’d share one pair of headphones on the bus trips to away games or I’d lie in the sun watching practice until he was done and could drive me home in his “super cool” Honda del Sol. While I not-so-subtly pined for him, he strung me along just enough, but remained aloof. We carried on through his senior year talking all night and casually ignoring feelings all day. Then he graduated. I was heartbroken. I was sure he was my soulmate, but life sort of went on…

We’d talk on and off over the years, but he never seemed particularly interested in me as more than a friend and confidant, so I eventually let go of my infatuation. Until a couple months ago when the cadence of our communication picked up again drastically. I’m of course living in New York City and he had just relocated back to our hometown on the Island of Misfit Toys in South Jersey. We hadn’t seen each other in almost 10 years, but started talking every night for 6+ hours. Gradually my feelings came back and I suspected he was catching some as well. On November 29th, I realized I was in love with him. I was not happy about this discovery. There was a lot at stake and I was really loving my solo life.

BUT he was feeling some things too. So he decided he needed to come for a visit to validate them. December 1st, he was waiting in my apartment when I got home from work looking nervous, but otherwise exactly like he did in high school. Then he kissed me. Then we went to get dinner. Then I took him to Barcade because drinks were required and I wanted to win at Joust. There at the bar, he cornered me in that sexy way that makes me crazy, looked into my eyes and asked me point blank if I’m in love with him. I downed the rest of my drink and told him I am. And guess what? He is too! 🎆

We spent December apart trying to figure out what in the fuck we were going to do about all this, arguing about how crazy this is, browsing engagement rings and lamenting that we missed SO MANY YEARS before landing on the only possible solution: He’d have to move into my little 300sqft East Village apartment on January 1st. So that’s what happened. And we’ve been grinning like idiots for the last 27 days, laughing about how all this even happened and enjoying whimsical sleeptalking psychedelic poetry slams.

So sometimes your 15 year-old self/18 year-old self gets it right and you just have to wait until your 32 year-old self/35 year-old self has her/his shit together enough to make it happen and make it last. 😊

 

First Look: Nintendo Switch

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Splatoon 2 in handheld mode on Nintendo Switch

After an awkward Nintendo Direct Thursday night, I had some concerns about the Nintendo Switch. There weren’t any shocking new reveals about the hardware. The presentation was clunky and poorly executed. By the end, I was having  Wii U flashbacks and preemptive buyer’s remorse about the lack of launch titles.Over the weekend I had an exclusive opportunity to experience the Switch first hand at a “secret location,” thanks to my Gal Friday Gluxbox and I’m pretty confident it’s going to change the game.

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Breath of the Wild Link “greeted” us at the entrance to the space

The space was configured across two rooms with the main room divided into different console use scenarios. Nintendo created an airplane,  a cozy living room, the interior of an RV and a seat in “Mario’s Diner” (to this displaced Jersey girl’s delight and amusement). A huge presentation screen divided the room where Nintendo staffers held gameshow-like demos throughout the evening. The rest of the space featured lounge areas where we could kick back and kick ass.

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It’s a squid! It’s a kid! It’s a squid!

Splatoon 2 was easily one of my highlights. The station showcased both TV and handheld play, and allowed us to team up and splet other attendees. I was massively disappointed with the Wii U, but Splatoon was THE game that revived my console from the dusty graveyard of my entertainment center. Naturally, I was excited to check out a new weapon and MUCH smoother gameplay in Splatoon 2 on the Switch. On the handheld configuration, the gyroscope feeks much more intuitive. The system itself is thinner, smoother and far less clunky than the GamePad was, offering a less frustrating experience that STAAAAAAYS FRESH!

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This is what championship milkers look like

We ducked over to two large glass booths housing Nintendo staffers in silly hats to try out 1 2 Switch. This game, which should come packaged with the console but does not, includes a variety of games that show off the hardware features and functionalities. Wild West Dueling pitted Glux and I against each other in a showdown, eyes locked and intimidation faces on!

If you saw the Nintendo Direct, you may remember a demonstration involving ice cubes shaking in a glass. Without the joycon in your hand, it was impossible to make an impact. But playing Balls (yes. That’s literally the name of the game) you can really feel a number objects rolling around “inside” the joycon (yes. The object of the game is literally to feel balls).

By far the best of the 1 2 Switch demo was a little game called Milk.

Yep. You strategically squeeze and tug the joycon to simulate “milking a cow” and whoever milks the most glasses wins. Hysterical. I was on the floor laughing because I am a grown ass adult here. Is this game worth being sold separately for $49.99? Probably not. Again, it’s a cool way to show off all the capabilities but software like this should really come preinstalled.

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One of three Inkling Girl options in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

Many people seem pretty disappointed that Mario Kart 8 Deluxe won’t include any new tracks, but I LOVE the new Inkling additions and their karts. Plus, Nintendo brings back Battle Mode in this version- a nostalgic throwback I’ve been missing in every Mario Kart game since I was a kid. I’m looking forward to reliving my sibling rivalries from afar!

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Making Nintendo Great Again

After several addictive battle rounds and some races, I got called up on stage with a stranger to play a co-op puzzle game, Snipperclips. This may be a cult hit for the Switch. It was unexpectedly, but delightfully engaging, silly and just challenging enough that I didn’t make a total ass of myself on stage. I won the sweet hats Glux and I are modeling above.

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Switch swag

We got some time on Street Fighter, PuyoPuyo Tetris, Just Dance and others. The comfort and ease of using the joycons in their various forms for every game, regardless of intensity, surprised me throughout the event. I particularly loved being able to use the joycon independently in each hand. When we played multiplayer games that utilized the joycon completely independently, they were small, but still totally manageable and comfortable. The whole system felt quite sleek and sturdy, unlike the juvenile and clunky Wii U Gamepad.

If you’re a dude or have bigger hands, you might want to consider the pricey pro controller. I’ll likely grab one for my boyfriend, along with the joycon charging grip (because we are going to be lost in this thing for the rest of the year). We also saw little wheel peripherals for Mario Kart- a fun novelty, but they’ve never done anything for my racing experience, personally.

We had to leave way too soon, but got some nice swag and a thirst for more Switch. March 3rd can’t come soon enough!

If you’ve been quick/lucky enough to score a preorder, I recommend trading your Wii U in sooner than later before the market floods and the trade value drops. I traded my system and several games in on Monday for over $400 in credit!!!  That’ll more than cover the accessories I want to get the most out of the Switch when it finally launches.

13 Pokemon That Look Like Dicks

In honor of Pokemon’s 20th anniversary and the announcement of Pokemon Sun and Moon, I’ve compiled the top most phallic Pokemon.

011Metapod

011 Metapod
If the Jolly Green Giant had Jolly Green Genitals that became sentient, that’s this. And with signature moves like “Harden,” Metapod leaves nothing to the imagination.

600px-014Kakuna

014 Kakuna
Just look at that shiny, smooth bulbous head. Maybe more of a butt plug, actually?

050Diglett

050 Diglett
#thatlookslikeadick

1200px-162Furret

162 Furret
Soft. Furry. Likes narrow spaces.

1200px-185Sudowoodo

185 Sudowoodo
From the Japanese meaning “pseudo wood.”

1200px-202Wobbuffet

202 Wobbuffet
This Pokemon is a literal representation of blue balls.

213Shuckle

213 Shuckle
At my old agency, there was a Creative Director who would get drunk and expound his ideas for insane sex toys. One was an interconnected series of sockets that met in the middle known as the Dick Dock. This is that. Preorder yours today!

1200px-224Octillery

224 Octillery
You’re a little turned on. Admit it. I am.

1200px-256Combusken

256 Combusken
If this isn’t a dick and balls with claws, I know nothing.

308Medicham

308 Medicham
MEDICHAM: the groundbreaking new treatment in fertility! Ask your doctor today. Side effects may include warts.

321Wailord

321 Wailord
Incoming! Literally.

1200px-346Cradily

346 Cradily
Artist: *draws a dick*
CEO: Good, but missing something.
Artist: *draws 8 more dicks*
CEO: …it’s so beautiful *tears*

1200px-602Tynamo

602 Tynamo
Guys. That mouth. Would teeth make this look less like a dick or just like a more terrifying one?

13 Pokemon That Look Like Dicks first appeared on Buzzfeed Community.

Friday Five- Sloths from Space!

Why do short weeks feel so long? I was off Monday so I spent the day absorbed in various space adventures and writing poems about space. Seems like from the moment Bowie died there’s been a lot of cosmic energy tingling my fingertips and everything I write reaches the galaxies. Among the stars- good place to be.

The five things I’m loving this week include sloths and space. If anyone can create a game about sloths in space, I will get on board as writer, editor and big idea-er! Can we make this happen?

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via Not From Caves

1. Sloth art! A coworker snapped a ceramic sloth at a coffee shop in Brooklyn and I waiting for her at her desk with a litany of questions. After the slothterrogation, she wisely returned to the coffee shop and picked up a card for me. That’s the story of how I discovered the whimsical slothtastic art of Not From Caves.

2.Out There Somewhere. This game is so wonderfully challenging and the music reminds me of a fist-pumping-Taio-Cruz-at-the-Jersey-Shore era jam. It’s short, but worth a play. My goal is to get really good at it and do speedruns. Maybe.

3. FIGHT MILK! Fight like a crow. Made fresh by bodyguards (and Charlie).

I just watched It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia in its entirety and cannot recommend it enough. I rarely love a whole show, but these characters are such engaging, awful people and so representative of Philly I’m always cracking up. Every ep is gold.

4. Speaking of Philly, I’m going back for my 2nd year of running the Hot Chocolate 15k (that’s 9.6 miles)! I’m raising funds for charity here (note they don’t take AmEx or Paypal). Throw a few bucks in to help Ronald McDonald House Charities and keep families with sick children focused on the health of their kids. Please donate if you can and share the link either way!

5. The Deadly Tower of Monsters. As a fan of the 70’s era B film aesthetic, I’ve been waiting for this game. And it’s on sale! Star in your own Sci-Fi cult classic and battle REAL monsters that TOTALLY don’t have zippers on their backs. The “director’s commentary” makes a solid addition. Hilarious! Good writing! (Have I mentioned my dream of writing a game? Any artists/devs/musicians out there? I’ve already got a few solid story and character concepts. Just saying.)

Friday Five: Ch-ch-ch-changes

Nothing gets my hips swaying like a melancholy baritone. Saxophones immediately transport me to darkened alleyways glimmering with post-rain mystery. Cellos sound like the comfort and anxious energy of a small dark room. With my body rocking like a perpetual pendulum this week, here are five things I’m loving!

1. You Bred Raptors? I was introduced to a friend of a friend’s band this week who play experimental instrumentals under a name referencing Jurassic Park (albums include Grant, Hammond, Lex & Tim and Muldoon!). Obviously, I was way down for this. It’s three dudes who play a monster 8-string bass, drums and cello. They wear masks which change with each song. A lot of their stuff sounds like scores for unwritten cult films or video games. I highly recommend you check out them out!

2. I just bought this badass bodysuit and cannot wait to rock the hell out it.

3. Blackstar- Happy Birthday, David Bowie! Bowie hath gifted us with a new album today and I’m pretty much diggin’ it. I was lucky enough to score tickets to Lazarus, a stage production Bowie co-wrote inspired by The Man Who Fell to Earth by Walter Tevis, so I got to hear Michael C. Hall sing some of these new songs with incredible Bowiesque precision a couple weeks ago. It was marvelous. Just a bloody brilliant piece of theater. Check out Blackstar, get tickets to Lazarus if you can and come to Bowie’s birthday party tonight at Rough Trade NYC.

4. Pocket Mortys. LOOK, guys. LOOK AT ALL THE MORTYS.
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I’ve never gotten excited over a mobile game before and most of me still wishes this could be on steam or 3DS or ANY platform other than mobile… BUT this combines a game style I love with a show a adore so I’m going to allow it. Out next week on iOS and Android.

5. I got the criffiest crif dog ever.

Lil Ma and cheesy tots from Crif Dogs

Lil Ma and cheesy tots by Crif Dogs

Shut up. I go to the gym 5 days a week so I can eat bacon wrapped hot dogs smothered in peanut butter and topped with potato chips with a big ol’ side of cheesy tots. Some things are just worth it, guys.

2015 Credits

2015 was a year. Pretty sure I didn’t sleep for a minute and the only way I can describe 2015 involves the word “heaving” and the visual of rolling a boulder up a mountain using every spectral fiber of my soul. This means I am incredibly strong. It also means I am incredibly tired. But I also got everything I wanted, everything I worked the last 6 years for, right down to some insanely nuanced and mindbendingly coincidental details.

What I did // Ran TWO 15ks (and beat my time by a solid 7 minutes). Attended a fancy wedding. Moved the fuck back to NYC after 6 YEARS of working to make that happen (and I am never leaving again). Joined a skeeball league (and won the East Village championships!). Locked down a sweet new professional gig that pays my bills and keeps Muldoon rollin’ in kibbles. Saw Django Django, Tame Impala, The Black Keys, The Foo Fighters and the Suicide Girls Blackheart Burlesque. Started a blog again. Fell in love with someone I’d never met (then actually met him and preferred the cartoon version. Womp womp…). Found my muse again. Cooked my first Thanksgiving meal! Went to NYCC (and wouldn’t do it again).

Most-played albums // Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds * Chasing Yesterday. Tame Impala * Currents * Lonerism. Sloan * Never Hear the End of It. Django Django * Django Django * Born Under Saturn. The Bravery * The Sun & The Moon. Broken Bells * Broken Bells * After the Disco. Fly Golden Eagle * Quartz. The Dandy Warhols * Welcome to the Moneky House * Earth to the Dandy Warhols. Material Issue * Destination Universe. Nerf Herder * American Cheese. Blur * The Magic Whip.

Most-loved shows & films // American Horror Story! Scream Queens. JURASSIC WORLD (I cried. More than once). X-Files- rewatched the entire series over spring. Jessica Jones! Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The Hateful 8. Unreal.

Top purchases // Majora’s Mask edition New Nintendo 3DS XL (My annual Galentine’s Day gift to myself). Burlesque classes. Indiebox subscription (highly recommend!). Deviant Moon tarot deck.

Style obsessions // RED LIPS. Wearable art. Retro. Gamer bounding. Cartoon colors and jewel tones. Cracked faux leather. A-line dresses. Doc Martens.

Best things I did for myself // Stopped living to please other people! Kept up running. Went back to the gym. Moved back to New York.

Top games // Destiny (Xbox One). Dyscourse (Steam). Binding of Isaac: Rebirth (3DS). Shovel Knight (3DS). TriForce Heroes (3DS). Splatoon (WiiU). Super Smash Bros (3DS/WiiU). Fallout 4 (Xbox One). Armello (Steam).

2016 will be a year of recalibrating, reestablishing my life here and rediscovering myself without allowing others the power to define me. I’m going to write here more, submit my poems to some journals, travel a bit and have countless exciting things happen and awkward moments.

What will you do?

 

5 Reasons I’m Excited for Final Fantasy Explorers

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Job System– So many options! Dark Knight, Beast Master, Samurai… Look at all the Mages! I’ll master them all. Which will you choose?

Multiplayer! I’ve been devoted to the 3DS since launch ( I’ve transferred my little Ambassador Certificate to every new generation of the system because sentimental nerd). The biggest issue I’ve had with the system has always been the lack of multiplayer games in the library. It’s a portable system! It was made for travel, meet ups and kicking real human ass while watching defeat darken the eyes of my opponents.

Old Friends– Costumes let me play as my angsty teen crushes, Cloud and Squall. Terra! Plus Yuna. Tifa and Aerith. No Rikku, but maybe someday? Lightning, who I’m not entirely familiar with since I got bored about an hour into FFXIII, but it’s pretty exciting to see so many of my favorite female characters in one place. Choosing a costume might be harder than sticking with a job class…

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New Summons (0r Aeons or Eidolons or Guardian Forces)- Good to see all the classics here. Then there’s Amaterasu and Dryad. The latter seems to be the Aeon version of a Marlboro, inflicting a barrage of status ailments, while the former possesses 7 floating flaming swords and reminds me of the 7 of swords which ironically represents wit and diplomacy over force.

Training monsters– You can round out your party with monsters. Has this ever happened in a Final Fantasy before? I can’t wait to see what kinds of ridiculous and incredible teams we can build!

Are you getting Final Fantasy Explorers? What are you looking forward to?