Splatoon 2 Updates: March Splatfest Recap


Splatfest Results: Team Chicken 🥇 vs Team Egg 🚫

Another Splatfest, another loss for my team. In the nine Splatfests that have occurred since the game came out in July, I have won exactly ONE event. However, this month’s was one of the most fun/least frustrating I’ve played.

I chose Team Egg because 1) science, and 2) I love the aesthetic of a fried egg. My Splatfest team choices are always based on personal preference – not what my favorite host chooses, not what most of my friends pick, not ink color or anything beyond what I love. And the things I love are losers. 😂


Things looked good at the start. The vast majority of my friends list had also chosen Team Egg and almost every one of my matches looked like the two omelets here. Somehow, playing solo with randoms makes for a more successful match than playing with a team. My friends are not very good at this, apparently.


Typically, my battle gear includes my official Splatest T, Special Forces Beret with a mix of abilities to round me out a little and scrubbed moto boots. Farming chunks is always a priority. Weapon-wise I’ve come to rely on the N-Zap 89 in turf wars because the special and sub suit my particular style of strategic play. I know it’s sort of frowned upon to try new weapons during Splatfest, but I was really enjoying the feel of the new Dark Tetra Dualies in the days leading up to the event. I fared really well with them in the end. I spent about 1/3 of the event wielding the Neo Sploosh-o-matic, which was a beast for coverage, but didn’t allow me the power or speed I’m used to.


Team Chicken MVPs. I played several rounds against these teams and I giggled at their names every time. The creativity on both sides of this Fest ensured I kept playing matches and running around Inkopolis Square to see the fresh artwork. IMG_7404.JPG

Team Egg MVPs I wasn’t part of this team nor did I have the luck to encounter any of them. Someone shared this in my Splatoon 2 group and I loved it so, so much.

I think for next Splatfest, I’ll put together a strong team. Between my friends list (some of them are better than me) and my clan, there should be a win in my future!

Which team did you pick?


Bayonetta 2

It took me about 8 hours to finish Bayonetta 2 on Saturday. I wanted it to take longer. Plot-wise, It actually should have been shorter. Bayonetta herself seemed much softer in this game. Still a badass, but more emotionally tied to other characters than she even was to child Cereza in the first game. Her softening is likely due to the return of her memories. Now she has a close relationship with Jeanne (and extra fab wardrobe).


In this adventure, the balance between Inferno and Paradiso has shifted. The demons employed by the witches turn against them and Jeanne gets dragged to Hell. Bayonetta has a limited window to save Jeanne’s soul before it’s devoured forever. So we’re battling angels AND demons this time around.


These were two of the most fun demon battles. My favorite was the Alurana battle. She was a giant mantis with Jeanne’s soul dissolving in her abdomen. Once defeated, Jeanne’s soul is rescued, but her revival scene was anticlimactic. We ALMOST lost her! I spent most of the game on a quest to save her. I wanted more out of this huge scene before racing off to restore the balance of chaos.


Bayonetta’s fashion is on point. I love her sleek, sophisticated new look. Her character really does seem to have evolved nicely as her relationships have developed, but I was confused by the return of Luka and Enzo. I get the Enzo is her informant/comic relief, but the Guido stereotype jokes are stale and Bayonetta doesn’t really need him to gather intel. He could be replaced by one line of dialogue. As for Luka, I don’t understand his role at all. In this game, he’s dressed like a cowboy and his relationship with Bayonetta has not evolved in the slightest. He appears when the childlike figure of Loki needs to be carted around, much like child Cereza in the first game. Beyond that, he serves no purpose. I would very much like it if he did not appear in the 3rd game.

IMG_7061I love the barrier breaking heart-shot too.

Bayonetta 3 will probably see the return of Loki/Aesir, likely some new irritating child figure and Balder for sure with another massive Balder battle like Bayonetta 1. I’m excited to see how Bayonetta further evolves in the next game and what new characters we might meet. I’m 100% sure they’ll be:


Thoughts on Bayonetta

After a very intense Splatfest that resulted in a heartbreaking loss for Team Money💸👼🏻, I was ready to dive into something new. On Friday, Nintendo released Bayonetta 2 for Switch. The physical copy comes with a code for the first Bayonetta game so I figured this was a good time to give the series a go. Ryan sweetly picked me up a copy and my long weekend disappeared into Vigrid.



First of all, this is not the kind of game I’m used to seeing on a Nintendo console. I wrote emails to Nintendo for MONTHS begging them to bring The Binding of Issac to 3DS. I always got the response that due to the religious themes and overtones of the game, they weren’t allowing it. That game is now out on both 3DS and Switch. In Bayonetta, you are literally a bad-as-fuck dark witch whose main goal is essentially to destroy God as well as all the angels and beings of light that may stand in your way. It’s brutal. It’s incredible!

I’m a big fan of the noir style of the game. Many cut scenes employ still frames of film scrolling by to help tell the story. There are a lot of sepia-toned flashbacks, black and white and red lipstick, and of course, gangsters and shady bartenders who might be devils. Rodin might be my favorite NPC.


Bayonetta is on a mission to uncover her past as well a mysterious jewel called the Right Eye. On her journey, she fights all manner of cherubim and demi-dieties who hint at her impending role in the resurrection of Jubileus, The Creator. I did not immediately notice that her outfit is composed of her own hair, which she can also wield as a conduit to summon demons!. The hair dragon and hair raven were two of my favorite manifestations.



Of course, the game is deeply sexy, but Bayonetta is always in full control of her sexual agency, which I really appreciate. She’s not there to be sexy for the male characters; she’s there being sexy for herself and kicking angel ass. It’s so refreshing to play a female protagonist who is so unapologetically feminine and fearless. Aside from her gun-heeled stilettos, she keeps her outfit changes in a compact and fires her lipstick like a bullet to finish a critical battle near the end of the game. So empowering.


I played through this game with my jaw on the floor mostly. The innuendo. The violent and graphic destruction of angelic beings. Bayonetta’s nudity every time she summons another hair demon. This has to be my favorite scene of all time.

It never gets old and I cannot stop watching it! Bayonetta is the witch I’ve always wanted to be. How did I not play this game sooner? I’m looking forward to playing Bayonetta 2 this week. Until Then, don’t ever forget these immortal words of wisdom:


Subscription Addiction

Copy of Sunday Stats

Ages ago, I had a Lootcrate subscription. It was fun for a while, but it was also overloading my shelves with junk. Most of the themes were too broad for my interests and I wasn’t getting enough gaming items. Too much of the stuff ended up in the trash because I couldn’t deal with the clutter. I canceled, but they’ve evolved a lot in the last couple of years and have a bunch of more specifically tailored options now. Their sock crate is probably worth it! To be honest, if they did an underwear box for women, I’d totally get that.

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Typical LootCrate

When Lootcrate first came onto the scene, along with a handful of other subscription boxes, I remember thinking that this fad would never catch fire. In our digital era where minimalism is a lifestyle, magazines and mail subscriptions are virtually deceased, I just couldn’t fathom why people would want to amass STUFF on a monthly basis.

Then, in a Twitch stream on Dyscourse in 2015, I discovered Indiebox. Indiebox delivered collector’s edition PC games with amazing collectibles. I still enjoy the Axiom Verge soundtrack! It was an awesome way to discover new games and play new genres. I particularly appreciated the game download codes so my shelves didn’t fill up with jewel cases like the 90’s. Unfortunately, in September they shuttered the subscription service portion of their business model. RIP.

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My Favorite Indiebox

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My first Indiebox

Through the magic of instagram, I met Goddess Provisions where I’ve been a member for almost 2 years. Each month I get candles and aromatherapy oils, a bit of chocolate maybe or other tools to raise my vibration and connect more deeply with the universe.

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January’s awesome Goddess Provisions box

Now almost everyone I know maintains some kind of subscription. But how did this happen? How did something kind of silly and seemingly so off trend explode into a cultural phenomenon?

My theory is twofold:

We’ve forgotten the joy of surprise.
When information and answers are a tap away, the amusement and satisfaction of discovery has dissipated. New memes are old news as soon as they start trending. Through social media, everyone learns about major events at practically the same moment. If you don’t see the hottest new movie on opening night, there’s a massive chance someone is going to spoil it for you.

True, genuine surprise is rare anymore. Sometimes instagram spoils boxes for me!    We know everything before we know it and discovery has gotten boring. So, the arrival of a package packed with mystery goodies tailored to your interests brings back the thrill of surprise. It’s like finding a loot crate in real life! #GamesIRL

Getting physical mail is AWESOME.
Most of the good stuff comes to our email inboxes now, while our mailboxes are filled with disappointment- direct mail marketing pieces (still? REALLY?), local menus and credit card offers. A mission to the mailbox typically ends with a jaunt to garbage can.

Remember getting care packages in college? Or any kind of gift in the mail? It turns a trip to the mailbox into your own private holiday. It’s a parade in your honor. Subscription boxes are like a gift each month, and if you pay for several months in advance, it doesn’t even feel like spending money for the duration!

Glux introduced me to Cratejoy (and she talked about her subscription experiences here) where we both went a little wild on the options in January. I’ll review some of the new boxes I’ve subbed with in the coming weeks. Do you have any favorites?

2018 Games Wishlist


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The Legend of Bum-bo – From the creators of The Binding of Isaac, the game I’ve put more hours into than probably any other game (and on 4 different platforms), comes this charming as fuck cardboard puzzle RPG. It has all the morbidity and grime as Isaac with a completely new play style and story. So far it will be out on PC and iOS… sometime this year.

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Fe – All I care about is getting to play an adorable creature, howling in the forest among stunningly gorgeous artwork. It reminds me a lot of Ori and the Blind Forest, which I absolutely adored. I’m so looking forward to exploring this whimsical world (in March… because it releases February 16th and #NoSpendFeb😪).

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Project Octopath Traveler – Download the demo if you haven’t. This game is going to be awesome. I really enjoyed Primrose’s storyline. Come on, a badass stripper who carves her own path, leaves destruction in her wake, and essentially tells her “master” to go fuck himself? YES, PLEASE! Olberic’s story was a lot more “traditional” RPG. Last of his kind. Soldier. Protecting a village. Wrestling with some past trauma. Still, I enjoyed his little piece of the demo as well. The HD-2D art style makes the landscapes visually rich and compelling while feeding my nostalgia for the 16-bit sprites of my early Final Fantasy days. I can’t wait to see who the other 6 characters are and how their paths cross.

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Owlboy – This released a while back, but I want it for my Switch. It looks like an interesting concept with cool art. I’m reminded of the Shantae games, which is one of my favorite series of all time. I’m curious about the flying mechanics, because I’m terrible at any game where I have to fly. Should be interesting!


Kingdom Hearts III – Wow. It has been a while since I played a Kingdom Hearts game. I believe I dropped off somewhere in the early stages of Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance, so I’m not far behind. I distinctly remember driving up to NYC (I was living in South Jersey in 2012) for the launch event at Nintendo NY where I purchased the Collector’s Edition. At some point, I traded in the game for lack of play. (*adds KH3D:DDD to wishlist*) I just hope this one isn’t too convoluted with characters. Sometimes the Disney Prozac effect can be really, REALLY exhausting.

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Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (kickstarter) – Still waiting for an official release date on this one. I backed it on Kickstarter back when I was trying to impress some guy. Luckily I’m also a fan of metroid-vania games. With another badass woman playing the protagonist, it’s going to be a must-play for me.

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Knights and Bikes – This is another Kickstarter I backed in 2016. The creators describe it like The Goonies, but with little girls kicking up hell on a small British island. It looks to be a fascinating adventure and reminds me of biking around my own small island town with my friends as a kid, getting into all sorts of trouble. All the characters and scenery are hand-painted in a lovely aesthetic – sharp color contrasts really bring them to life. The game mechanics and battle system are incredibly creative. Still waiting for a release date, but I’m hoping it comes this year. Not once has a game I backed released remotely near the original window. It’s almost always like 2 years later.

Game Updates: Splatoon 2

I’d love to go pro in Splatoon eventually. Now that I have time to practice, I’ve joined a clan! Great group. Killer players. I get to practice regularly, perfect my strategies and master stages I h-a-t-e-d before. Sometimes I even try out other weapons – trying to become more versatile in my arsenal proficiency.

I’m a Siren!


My W/L ratio remained stuck at a pretty even scale for a while, but now? NOW? I’m crushing it. And only getting better. Tonight, this divide will grow even greater!


And it’s not just my ratio that’s improved. I’ve ranked up almost everywhere. Clam Blitz has been slow going with randoms, but I actually really enjoy that mode even though I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who knows how to play. Most games I’m playing offense, defense, jammer, goalie AND slayer. And I still win.


S rank is within my grasp! See you out there, squids!

Nintendo Direct Wishlist

I’m pro at getting my hopes up. With an impending Nintendo Direct, I’m holding my breath for these five announcements:

New Smash for Switch – It’s inevitable. It’s too perfect for Switch to not happen. I’m certain they’ll add a Splatoon Stage and Inkling fighters, even if they’re DLC later. But it needs to go further. Nintendo has thrown a lot of support behind indies in the last year, so I’m hoping for the induction of some indie characters. Seeing the number of indie characters voted for in the Smash Ballot, it just makes sense to include some of the more popular indie characters who could have really fun fight moves. I’d love to see Shantae’s hair whip and Shovel Knight’s shovel drop.

Virtual Console – This is a way of sneaking an extra thing into my wishlist: details on Nintendo’s online service. All we know is it’s coming, it’s required for online play and it’s $20 per year. I want to know what kind of archives we’ll have access to. I’d love to see a lot of Gamecube games reworked. I never had a GameCube so Virtual Console would be my first experience with some of the best Mario games in the franchise.

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Splatoon Updates – In the glamor shots of new weapon announcements I’ve seen Arowana Mall in the background, and maybe Mahi-Mahi Resort, so I’m expecting more maps from the original game. Personally, I’d love to see Hammerhead Bridge return. Clam Blitz is still so new, but for me, it opened the door for future ranked modes. Hopefully we’re not done getting new modes. I also hope they nerf some of the rollers’ vertical stats. They should not have both ridiculous range AND power. It’s obscene. Mostly, I REALLY want Nintendo to give us Marina and Pearl amiibos (please oh please oh please!). I don’t even care what they unlock in the game. I just want that adorable duo as little figures!

New Animal Crossing– Sure, this is incredibly unlikely, but a girl can dream. Pocket Camp has gotten so boring so fast. I love the RV concept, though. Maybe in a new full AC we can visit other towns in the RV instead of the dream suite or train. Then we’d have two spaces to decorate as well. Some new features I’d like to see: mounting bugs on the wall (you can’t even see them in the hermit crab cages). Ability to keep a couple villagers forever. A bigger “city” area with stores and the coffee shop, Katrina and some new characters – How about a tattoo parlor? (that was a joke, but now I want it to happen!). More interactions or mini-games with visiting friends – why can’t we have a snowball fight in winter? Or have a cookout on the Island? Or have a bug/fish catching competition against each other?

Something to make the 3DS relevant again. Metroid: Samus Returns was great, but I haven’t touched my 3DS since then. I’m not ready to let it go completely so I’m hoping for some decent support through 2018, even if it’s some new Smash character or some smaller multiplayer games. I still need some time to say goodbye to my little friend (and create a new all-Switch strategy for my MeetUp group).

What are you hoping to hear?