Love in the Time of the Nuclear Apocalypse

Each year, I support wildlife conservation and self love by naming a cockroach after an ex for Valentine’s Day. It’s cathartic, tax-deductible, and includes chocolate! (Assuming you send your naming certificate to yourself and NOT the aforementioned ex, that is.)

The Bronx Zoo has been doing this donation event for years and I truly love it. They offer a few different donation tiers that come with various treats, but all tiers include a certificate (digital only at the $10 tier) where you can dedicate your cockroach to your ex. For $10 a pop, go nuts and name all your exes!

love-you-forever

Real ex’s name redacted


I like to get creative with my certificates and work them into an annual ritual. Write a little poem. Craft an insect themed analogy for the relationship. Jot a memory that may be sticking with you. Meditate over the certificate, visualizing your love and energy returning you. Envision any hold your past relationships still hold on you as hooks, vines or whatever elemental image works for you and see those strings of attachment breaking apart. Then, burn the certificate to make sure there’s no lingering energy and allow you both to breathe free of each other. Enjoy the chocolates in a cleansing bath!

Make a donation here. They start at just $10 for a digital certificate or $35 for a physical one with chocolates!

2016 Credits

So 2016 was a motherfucker of a year, huh? Rife with death, sadness, struggle and one WTF after another, we all deserve an award for emerging from it. I am battle scarred. I am exhausted. And I am determined to face 2017 ready to fight hard and play hard and love hard. Starting by looking back at what WAS awesome about 2016:

What I did // Took my family on an Obscene Art History tour at MoMA. Ran my 3rd Hot Chocolate 15k (in the rain, with no music and KILLED my previous time by 20 minutes!). Saw The Dandy Warhols. Started a new Skeeball team that placed in city finals and qualified for Nationals. Joined the Gotham Girls Roller Derby Rec League and nearly broke my damn back. Lost a job. Got a new job. Took my sister to Vegas to live her dream and see Britney Spears. Got into a fight at a Britney Spears concert. Saw The Beach Boys and Sloan and BUSH THREE TIMES! Took a knife and hatchet throwing class. Saw Soul Asylum. Went to Brew at the Zoo with Gluxbox. Ran the NYC Turkey Trot. Got to see one of THE greatest games in college football history when Penn State defeated Ohio State in an amazing display of talent, grit and sheer team chemistry. Went to NYCC and spent way too much money. Formed an amazing tribe of girl friends. Discovered the carney-est beer ever – Funnel Cake Ale by Forgotten Boardwalk Brewing.

Most-played albums // Allie Goertz * Sad Dance Songs (Rick & Morty concept album). The Dandy Warhols * Distortland. Sloan * Never Hear The End Of It. Bush * All of them 😂.

Most-loved shows & films // Deadpool. Game of Thrones (I watched ALL of it this year). Shameless. Black Mirror. Rick and Morty, obviously. The Love Witch in all its campy glam glory. Scream Queens.

Top purchases // Riedell R3 roller derby skates. The Wild Unknown. NES Classic Edition. Nintendo Zelda edition Vans! A long weekend at The Cosmopolitan in Vegas.

Style obsessions // RED LIPS. Wearable art. Retro. Gamer bounding. Cartoon colors and jewel tones. Bomber jackets. Biker boots. Psychedelic patterns. Caftans.

Best things I did for myself // Joined the Radical Self Love Coven. Tuned myself in to the Universe. Fell madly in love with myself. Reconnected with my soulmate. Burlesque burlesque burlesque!

Top games // FTL (PC). Risk of Rain (PC). Star Wars Battlefront (PS4/Xbox One). Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (WiiU). Earthbound (3DS). Spelunky (PC). Gun Slugs (3DS). Overwatch (Xbox One). Animal Crossing New Leaf Welcome Amiibo update (3DS). Monster Hunter Generations (3DS). Pokemon Moon (3DS). World of Final Fantasy (PS4). Final Fantasy XV (PS4). Shantae: 1/2 Genie Hero (PS4).

 

How To Sever Cords of Attachment

I love. Verb. It’s what I do. It’s my energy. For a long time, I stored that love in other people, real and fictional, because I didn’t know I could invest it in myself. Until I exhausted myself pleasing other people. One day, I channeled it all back into myself and regained my power and happiness.

But I still felt a weight on my chest. Sometimes even a physical pull so strong I’d actually jerk forward like there was a giant fish hook in my heart. When we form relationships with people, we attach our energy to theirs with metaphysical cords. If paths divide and relationships end, those cords remain and can hold us back or become toxic and unhealthy.

I needed to let go of someone. As I’ve been working with energy, I tried a couple cord cutting rituals, unsure if they’d worked until I was sure they had not.

Last night, I was lying in bed when I had the idea to try a visualization related to this person. Instead of cords or rope, I closed my eyes and envisioned vines. Like weeds, they grew through my heart and out through my chest in one thick, twisted mass connecting my energy to his. I saw them. I felt them. And then I saw a startling flash that actually pulled me out of the moment. I knew it was working, but it took a second to figure out how to use that. I went back in and the bright yellow light came again. I saw the light drying out the vines. I felt them become frayed and brittle. I heard them splintering. Then, I envisioned myself pulling the vine straight out of my chest and it HURT. Wow. But it was out and I immediately felt lighter and free.

So here I am, holding this metaphysical vine that represented a love I never thought I’d feel AND that I had nurtured for almost 2 years. I am sentimental to a fault, but I had to destroy it. Cutting cords of attachment isn’t about leaving them lying about. This is meant to decimate energy connections. I envisioned a fire and I watched the dried vine burn.

And then I did something interesting. I surrounded the fire with stone, sort of creating a pyre in a fire pit. I transformed this connection I’d killed into a powerful love beacon meant to attract my equal, a true deserving partner.

It was exhausting, but I felt incredibly clear and light and free when it was done. There are lots of cord cutting rituals out there, and I’m no pro, but after getting frustrated with others, this one worked for me.

Here’s what to do:

  1. Be ready to let the person go. Without strong, clear intentions, you’re just going through the motions.
  2. Get comfortable. Sit, stand, lie down, breathe, light candles, burn incense, take a rose petal bubble bath- do whatever gets you into your calmest state. You don’t need to sit in lotus pose (unless that’s your calm space)!
  3. Invoke your protectors (because energy work is vulnerable stuff!)- whether it’s the elements, the divine, angels, spirit guides, invite them to surround you with white protective light and help you.
  4. Envision the cords in a way that calls to mind the specific person or relationship- for a family member, maybe it’s an umbilical cord or tissue. For a friend or lover, colored ribbon, the gold chain of a friendship bracelet, guitar string, ropes, or maybe the fish hook thing works for you. If nothing comes to mind, try envisioning their zodiac element as a physical cord like a burning rope for fire signs, a swirling vortex of air, a strong water current concentrated in your chest or branches, weeds, vines for Earth.(Note: if you have energy cords to cut with multiple people, don’t do them all at once. Focus on one relationship to hone your intent and ensure your ritual is successful. Do the next one another day.)
  5. See yourself destroying the cord. Pull it out. Tear it up. Burn it. Blow it up. Bury it. See it washing down a drain. Whatever feels powerful and gets it gone.
  6. Thank your protectors. They’re awesome.
  7. Relax and reward yourself. Have a glass of wine or eat a piece of dark chocolate because that was spiritually tough and you earned it.

If you’re not confident it worked or you feel that energy still with you after a few days, try it again with a new combination of mediation and visualization. Eventually, the energy will align and you’ll be able to complete your ritual. Rinse/repeat for any unwanted or negative attachments.