Thoughts on Bayonetta

After a very intense Splatfest that resulted in a heartbreaking loss for Team Money💸👼🏻, I was ready to dive into something new. On Friday, Nintendo released Bayonetta 2 for Switch. The physical copy comes with a code for the first Bayonetta game so I figured this was a good time to give the series a go. Ryan sweetly picked me up a copy and my long weekend disappeared into Vigrid.



First of all, this is not the kind of game I’m used to seeing on a Nintendo console. I wrote emails to Nintendo for MONTHS begging them to bring The Binding of Issac to 3DS. I always got the response that due to the religious themes and overtones of the game, they weren’t allowing it. That game is now out on both 3DS and Switch. In Bayonetta, you are literally a bad-as-fuck dark witch whose main goal is essentially to destroy God as well as all the angels and beings of light that may stand in your way. It’s brutal. It’s incredible!

I’m a big fan of the noir style of the game. Many cut scenes employ still frames of film scrolling by to help tell the story. There are a lot of sepia-toned flashbacks, black and white and red lipstick, and of course, gangsters and shady bartenders who might be devils. Rodin might be my favorite NPC.


Bayonetta is on a mission to uncover her past as well a mysterious jewel called the Right Eye. On her journey, she fights all manner of cherubim and demi-dieties who hint at her impending role in the resurrection of Jubileus, The Creator. I did not immediately notice that her outfit is composed of her own hair, which she can also wield as a conduit to summon demons!. The hair dragon and hair raven were two of my favorite manifestations.



Of course, the game is deeply sexy, but Bayonetta is always in full control of her sexual agency, which I really appreciate. She’s not there to be sexy for the male characters; she’s there being sexy for herself and kicking angel ass. It’s so refreshing to play a female protagonist who is so unapologetically feminine and fearless. Aside from her gun-heeled stilettos, she keeps her outfit changes in a compact and fires her lipstick like a bullet to finish a critical battle near the end of the game. So empowering.


I played through this game with my jaw on the floor mostly. The innuendo. The violent and graphic destruction of angelic beings. Bayonetta’s nudity every time she summons another hair demon. This has to be my favorite scene of all time.

It never gets old and I cannot stop watching it! Bayonetta is the witch I’ve always wanted to be. How did I not play this game sooner? I’m looking forward to playing Bayonetta 2 this week. Until Then, don’t ever forget these immortal words of wisdom:



Game Updates: Splatoon 2

I’d love to go pro in Splatoon eventually. Now that I have time to practice, I’ve joined a clan! Great group. Killer players. I get to practice regularly, perfect my strategies and master stages I h-a-t-e-d before. Sometimes I even try out other weapons – trying to become more versatile in my arsenal proficiency.

I’m a Siren!


My W/L ratio remained stuck at a pretty even scale for a while, but now? NOW? I’m crushing it. And only getting better. Tonight, this divide will grow even greater!


And it’s not just my ratio that’s improved. I’ve ranked up almost everywhere. Clam Blitz has been slow going with randoms, but I actually really enjoy that mode even though I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who knows how to play. Most games I’m playing offense, defense, jammer, goalie AND slayer. And I still win.


S rank is within my grasp! See you out there, squids!

Nintendo Direct Wishlist

I’m pro at getting my hopes up. With an impending Nintendo Direct, I’m holding my breath for these five announcements:

New Smash for Switch – It’s inevitable. It’s too perfect for Switch to not happen. I’m certain they’ll add a Splatoon Stage and Inkling fighters, even if they’re DLC later. But it needs to go further. Nintendo has thrown a lot of support behind indies in the last year, so I’m hoping for the induction of some indie characters. Seeing the number of indie characters voted for in the Smash Ballot, it just makes sense to include some of the more popular indie characters who could have really fun fight moves. I’d love to see Shantae’s hair whip and Shovel Knight’s shovel drop.

Virtual Console – This is a way of sneaking an extra thing into my wishlist: details on Nintendo’s online service. All we know is it’s coming, it’s required for online play and it’s $20 per year. I want to know what kind of archives we’ll have access to. I’d love to see a lot of Gamecube games reworked. I never had a GameCube so Virtual Console would be my first experience with some of the best Mario games in the franchise.

Nintendo switch GameCube virtual console rumor

Splatoon Updates – In the glamor shots of new weapon announcements I’ve seen Arowana Mall in the background, and maybe Mahi-Mahi Resort, so I’m expecting more maps from the original game. Personally, I’d love to see Hammerhead Bridge return. Clam Blitz is still so new, but for me, it opened the door for future ranked modes. Hopefully we’re not done getting new modes. I also hope they nerf some of the rollers’ vertical stats. They should not have both ridiculous range AND power. It’s obscene. Mostly, I REALLY want Nintendo to give us Marina and Pearl amiibos (please oh please oh please!). I don’t even care what they unlock in the game. I just want that adorable duo as little figures!

New Animal Crossing– Sure, this is incredibly unlikely, but a girl can dream. Pocket Camp has gotten so boring so fast. I love the RV concept, though. Maybe in a new full AC we can visit other towns in the RV instead of the dream suite or train. Then we’d have two spaces to decorate as well. Some new features I’d like to see: mounting bugs on the wall (you can’t even see them in the hermit crab cages). Ability to keep a couple villagers forever. A bigger “city” area with stores and the coffee shop, Katrina and some new characters – How about a tattoo parlor? (that was a joke, but now I want it to happen!). More interactions or mini-games with visiting friends – why can’t we have a snowball fight in winter? Or have a cookout on the Island? Or have a bug/fish catching competition against each other?

Something to make the 3DS relevant again. Metroid: Samus Returns was great, but I haven’t touched my 3DS since then. I’m not ready to let it go completely so I’m hoping for some decent support through 2018, even if it’s some new Smash character or some smaller multiplayer games. I still need some time to say goodbye to my little friend (and create a new all-Switch strategy for my MeetUp group).

What are you hoping to hear?

Litany of Gaming

I don’t remember a time when I didn’t have access to some type of gaming system, whether it was a Tiger electronics handheld,  those “learning” games you had to plug into the TV before computers were a household item, or a Tamagotchi (hey, it counts!).

I started playing games with my family as a social activity. My mom, sister and aunt would play sometimes and I had 2 younger cousins who lived down the block who were into games for a while. Of all of us, I’m the only one who still plays. I’m terrible with dates, but I want to go back as far as possible. I hope you’ll share your history too!

The Fuzzy Days: One of my aunts had an old IBM PC with a game called Gertrude that I begged her to let me play during every visit. My other aunt got an early Macintosh and I would watch my cousins play Chuck Yeager’s Air Combat. I was awful at it because of the inverse controls. While I’m STILL awful with inverse controls, one of those cousins has his pilots license now.


1990 My first system was the NES. I don’t remember being aware of it or asking for it, but we had one. At this point I lived with my mom and sister so it probably kept us out of my mom’s hair with minimal fighting.I begged my mom to take me to the video store on the reg to rent Little Nemo: The Dream Master.

Around this time my cousins down the street got the SNES and we played Top Gear (that music!) and Mario Kart every day before and after school. My stepbrother also had an SNES as well as a PC he played on. He wouldn’t let me play, but I watched him play Final Fantasy, X-Com, Doom and Wolfenstein for hours.

At my dad’s house I had a Sega Genesis and all the Sonic games up to Sonic & Knuckles. Dad sometimes played Ecco the Dolphin with me, but we couldn’t get very far.

1992? I asked for a Gameboy for Christmas so I could play on the 2.5 hour ride to and from my dad’s house every other weekend. I was all about Pokemon and Yoshi’s Cookies. I skipped Game Boy Color. I still have that original Gameboy though.

Original GameBoy Nintendo

Still works!

1996 For Christmas, I got the N64. My cousins got it too and we proximity mined each other into oblivion and hysterics in GoldenEye. Ocarina of Time was the first major Zelda game I really played through and understood. Mario 64 is still my favorite Mario game.

I skipped Nintendo consoles for a while after that, but kept up on handhelds.

1999 I graduated grade school and my mom took me to Toys R Us to get a Sega Dreamcast with my graduation money. I wanted it because I loved Sonic the Hedgehog and the VMUs/save cards were like mini Gameboys. I never got to play much on it because an earthquake in Japan made the VMUs scarce in the US. I couldn’t save my games or enjoy the handheld aspect so that ruined it.

2001 I asked my mom for PS2 for Christmas. I was a Jr in high school and obsessed with Final Fantasy. I upgraded to the PS2 Lite at some point in college. At some point I spent some of my summer earnings on a Gameboy Advance. It was pink and see-through and I loved it. Golden Sun and Final Fantasy Tactics were favorites.

2003 I upgraded to a Gameboy SP.

I skipped GameCube. It was ugly aesthetically and I thought I had outgrown Nintendo consoles. I had a little exposure to it through a friend, but felt meh about it in general. When the Wii came out,  I saw it as a general sports console. My cousins got one for Christmas the year it released, but I was never interested and our moms played it more than any of us did.

Although watching my late grandfather hit a home run with the wiimote remains one of my favorite Christmas memories. Ever.


Grampi hit a home run and we all jumped out of our seats.

2004/2005 I bought the original Nintendo DS. Then, I upgraded to the DS Lite and played it all the time. I skipped the DSi and XLs because I didn’t see the need. My

In 2006 or 7 I traded up for a PS3, which I wanted for the next Final Fantasy games mostly.

March 27th 2011, I picked up my preordered Nintendo 3DS in blue, which I still have. I was still playing my DS Lite until this point. I wanted to replay Ocarina of Time on handheld and was also really driven to buy because of the 3D gimmick and the concept of Streetpass. Several social groups sprouted around Streetpass to encourage people to meet and play. Backwards compatibility was a big draw for me too, with all systems.

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Meet the family!

November 2012 I picked up a Wii U at launch. I don’t remember why I wanted this console. I think I wanted to give Nintendo another try? I did not play it much. I was still really into PS3 and my 3DS. I started playing it a lot more when Splatoon came out, but that was toward the end of the system’s lifespan.

In May 2013, I bought the 3DS XL Animal Crossing Edition. I wasn’t planning to upgrade until I saw this gorgeous edition. I am obsessed with Animal Crossing. That and Zelda are the only two Nintendo IPs I really love. I still have this system as well.

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Still one of my favorite 3DSXL designs

For Christmas 2014 I asked my mom for an Xbox One. I had never had an Xbox so I wanted to see what the big deal was and try a new console.

In February 2015 I bought the NEW Nintendo 3DS XL Majora’s Mask edition for myself for Galentine’s Day. Wasn’t planning to upgrade because I love my Animal Crossing 3DS but I had been bugging Nintendo to port Binding of Isaac for a couple of years at this point and they were finally releasing it but only on the New 3DS because of the C stick. This is my current 3DS.

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Muldoon likes taking care of his Nintendogs.

December 2015. A dude from Tinder sent me a PS4 because we were having a great chat volley about games, (but he was only in the US for one night and I was not about to meet up with that) and he wanted to play with me on PS4, which I said I did not have. I thought it was a joke, but gave him a secure address and sure enough, the PS4 showed up with his real name on the receipt. I googled him to find him very married AND with a newborn. I kept the PS4 as Asshole Tax.

December 2016 I picked up the NES Classic because nostalgia.

March 2, 2017 my Nintendo Switch arrived at my office a day before release. Breath of the Wild wouldn’t show up until the next day. I wasn’t originally planning on getting a Switch, having been disappointed with my Wii U, but I literally cried at the trailer for Breath of the Wild. Also Splatoon 2. Also the best indie support Nintendo has ever had (I play games on PC rarely, preferring consoles, but loving the endless game options on Steam). I also got to attend a preview event for the Switch where I got to experience all of its configurations and capabilities. I was impressed. And it brought back that social aspect I love about the 3DS.

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Can I have all the joy con colors please?

September 2017 I picked up the SNES Classic because nostalgia.

So that’s where I am. Currently no plans to upgrade the PS4 and Xbox One. If an N64 Mini is announced I’ll be all over that. But this sort of feels like the last generation of console gaming. As the industry moves to mobile, AR and VR, the way we interact with games is going to change drastically.

What has your gaming litany looked like? Which systems were your favorites?

Splat Fashion

I sincerely hope someone is working on a Splatoon based clothing line. Never have I loved fashion more than when I’m equipping my inkling to optimize her abilities and make sure she’s SUPERFRESH!  Since release, I’ve played enough to keep an abundant cash flow coming in and buy everything I wanted fairly easily.

Inkling Girl with School Cardigan, Power Mask, Aeropray MG Pink

After School Special

Mean Green Beret Inkling Girl

Mean Green Beret

I’ve been splurging and shedding gear pretty readily. SplatNet2 lets me check in on the scene throughout the day so I can make sure I’m not missing choice new looks, but I think (for now) my gear shuffle is over.

Salmon Run uniform, rubber waders, Splatoon 2, Inking Girl

Fly fishing or fish frying?

When I’m not scrubbing a Splatfest tshirt for ability chunks, or rocking rubber head to toe for Salmon Run, I’m splatting in a Special Forces Beret, Black Inky Rider and Gold Hi-Horses.

Splatoon 2 Gold Hi-Horses

Gold Hi-Horses are getting some hate, but clearly you nerds don’t know how IN metallics are. They’re glorious. I love the exaggerated chunkiness and Mine came with Run Speed Up and the slots unlocked Quick Super Jump, Run Speed Up, and Ink Resistance. I’m pretty ok with this line-up, but if I can find a pair with Stealth Jump, I’d grab those and add some Swim Speed over the Run Speed.

Splatoon 2 Black Inky Rider

I have both the Black and White Inky Riders (because it’s always great to have a backup!), but favor Black Inky for speed. I hit a trifecta of Run Speed Ups on that one in addition to the main attribute: Ink Saver (Sub). I’m heavy sub users so it comes in handy. My dream is to find one with Ninja Squid and fit it with a mix of Speed and/or Ink Resistance.

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And because I’m a badass from toe to head, I’ve crowned myself with the Special Forces Beret. My ideal set up here would mix Special Gauge Up with Ink Savers, main and sub. I’m a strategic bomb flinger so I need to be able to hurl a bomb without draining my tank entirely.

Alternate set ups include the Blue Moto Boots, Skull Bandana, and Camo Zip Hoodie with Ninja Squid.

Thanks to Murch’s killer deal on Splatfest T scrubs, I’ve been able to build up a nice little stock of ability chunks to prepare for my future murdersuit. What does your gear set up look like?

All The Reasons I’m Hyped for Splatoon 2

Did you catch the Splatoon 2 Nintendo Direct this morning? As a massive fan of the game, I can feel the hype ink flowing through my veins. Here’s what I’m looking forward to most:


Custom hairstyles! Can I finally fling my tentacles around my inkling’s head in new ways? Yes. Yes I can. And while the ability to do so is amazing, it’s doubtful you’ll see me slinging ink in anything other than that Katniss-style side braid.

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New Amiibo. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m really trying to cut down the clutter in my apartment. I’m not a huge collector of amiibo, but for Zelda and Splatoon (and some indies) I make an exception. I’ll be picking up the New Inkling Girl and New Inkling Squid. In Splatoon 2, scanned amiibo will appear in-game and remember your preferred gear, weapons and options so you can easily take your set up on-the-go or in a friend’s game. They’ll also unlock special gear AND the original amiibo will work with Splatoon 2. The Callie and Marie set are my all-time favorites and I can’t wait to see what they unlock! Here’s hoping we get an Off the Hook set!

Speaking of Off the Hook, Pearl and Marina! I LOVED the Octoling aesthetic in the first game so I’m thrilled to see Marina as part of our new pop duo hostesses. Girl crushing so hard right now. AND we’ll get them for at least TWO YEARS of Splatfests! Let’s get more of their brand of burp-step and did I mention I would like an amiibo set, please?


New NPCs. The new shop owners are SO fresh! Flow– the witchy sea slug who runs the fashion shop- is my new spirit animal. She (and her shrimpy familiar) are conjuring up the slickest new fashions imbued with magical abilities to devastate your enemies. I love it. I love her. PLEASE let there be some gothic fashions to choose from.

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On the other hand, Bisk looks like the spider-crab version of my grade school gym teacher. Fitting, since he’s manning er, crabbing the shoe store. I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of killer kicks we’ll be treated to (and that will give me permission to invest in a new pair of running sneaks for my next gen Splatoon casual cosplay 15k race).

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Weapons (duh). I’m a shameless Splat Roller spammer and you haters can get splet. It’s fun, efficient af at covering turf and makes me an easy target for your inkblasting pleasure. The upgrade that allows the roller to be swung vertically will make me a FORCE. Needless today, I’m stoked about the Flingza Roller. Better range. More versatility. More ruthless CARNEYage.

I’m also super down with the Dapple Dualies. They look like a crossbow hybrid with both a high rate of fire and high coverage. I will go ham with these bastards. You ready for me, Ranked?


Salmon Run Mode. I love that you can play this boss-rush style mode solo or with friends, combating wave after wave of various salmonids. I’m a little disappointed that online play is only event-based like Splatfest. Ranked mode is a lot of fun, but it would be awesome to have online co-op where you’re teamed up with strangers for the greater good for once vs just trying to annihilate each other. It looks like a fantastic mess of chaos and inkblasting though. Anyone else think these salmonids look more like eels?

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SplatNet 2 and Nintendo Switch Online App. Clearly the awkward voice chat workaround poses a problem, but at least Nintendo is trying. And the headset looks like a great addition to the experience (or cosplay piece) and even has INTERCHANGEABLE color plates so you’re guaranteed to STAY FRESH. I’m excited to keep abreast of Inkopolis news while I’m away. The app will keep us updated on stage schedules, stats and even lifetime inkage. It’s also our portal to private battles via friend invites. I’m going to need to pick up that squid phone case (please someone make it real)!


There’s only one thing left to do. Download the demo and pick a side for the Splatfest World Premiere! Will you join me on #TeamCake on July 15th?


Spend Your Summer by the Oasis


Edina of the Drauk Warriors

After an IMMENSELY stressful week, I was rewarded with the release of Ever Oasis. I’ve spent the last 2 weeks hiding among its various tribes and dungeons, but now I’m ready to come up for air and tell you about it. You play a Seedling responsible for building and maintaining a thriving oasis village while vanquishing the Chaos that threatens all desert life. The game feels a lot like Fantasy Life in terms of questing, story and battling, but with more elements of town and relationship management like Animal Crossing.

Travelers, merchants and noots will wander into your oasis each morning or you can attract them by building requested bloom booths. Your goal is to fulfill travelers’ requests so they become residents. When Seedlings become residents, they can build a bloom booth, which you’ll need to place and keep stocked with materials. Bloom booths provide you with income do you can upgrade your gear and host festivals.


Shakuro should give himself more credit

As more residents move in, your oasis levels up and expands. Just when things are about to get tedious, you’ll unlock features allowing you to delegate certain tasks so you’re not always running between bloom booths to individually restock or traversing the desert to grind for materials.

It’s not a challenging game, but there’s an addictive draw to expanding your oasis and finding new characters out in the desert. Growing your community and unlocking new areas to explore offers a rewarding experience and the quirky dialogues make the game that much more endearing.


Err… I think so, Reuben…

If you’re looking for a super casual, yet charming escape to hold you over between major releases, Ever Oasis delivers. I recommend picking it up as the video game equivalent of a beach read.