Three of Cups

Image via Golden Thread Tarot app


One of my goals this year is to make a good group of local female friends. Not easy in your 30s in New York. It’s extra challenging as an empath with severe trouble prioritizing myself in any way. After 6 months of putting myself out there continuously, joining groups, playing sports, saying yes to too many social events and stretching myself thin, I’ve made a couple of disjointed, one-sided friendships.

I’ve made girlfriends who can’t pass the Bechdel test. Who ask me to analyze every text message she receives from a guy. Intelligent, educated, interesting women. Who interrupt each other’s stories to squeal over a fleeting Tinder romance. Who remember everything a guy said or did or implied or didn’t say, but keep asking to make plans with me for the weekend I’m attending my grandmother’s funeral- which I’ve told her about. More than once.

Pulling this card fills me with hope, but it’s also upsetting. I give of myself until I am raw and and bare. I always will because that’s who I am. A friend who can be counted on and keep your secrets and tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. I have incredible friends all over the world who love and admire me for this, among other things. I miss them. But all I want is a group of local women to go to brunch together and make fun of art at the museums or sip Prosecco on rooftops and talk about music and film and sports and- yes- guy problems because there’s nothing wrong with that until it consumes a woman.

No more deprioritizing myself just for the sake of company. Quality over quantity. I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m present with people. I deserve as much. Thanks, Three of Cups. I joined a promising book club today and skeeball season starts again soon. I’ll keep my head up and trust that my tribe is looking for me too.

 

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How To Sever Cords of Attachment

I love. Verb. It’s what I do. It’s my energy. For a long time, I stored that love in other people, real and fictional, because I didn’t know I could invest it in myself. Until I exhausted myself pleasing other people. One day, I channeled it all back into myself and regained my power and happiness.

But I still felt a weight on my chest. Sometimes even a physical pull so strong I’d actually jerk forward like there was a giant fish hook in my heart. When we form relationships with people, we attach our energy to theirs with metaphysical cords. If paths divide and relationships end, those cords remain and can hold us back or become toxic and unhealthy.

I needed to let go of someone. As I’ve been working with energy, I tried a couple cord cutting rituals, unsure if they’d worked until I was sure they had not.

Last night, I was lying in bed when I had the idea to try a visualization related to this person. Instead of cords or rope, I closed my eyes and envisioned vines. Like weeds, they grew through my heart and out through my chest in one thick, twisted mass connecting my energy to his. I saw them. I felt them. And then I saw a startling flash that actually pulled me out of the moment. I knew it was working, but it took a second to figure out how to use that. I went back in and the bright yellow light came again. I saw the light drying out the vines. I felt them become frayed and brittle. I heard them splintering. Then, I envisioned myself pulling the vine straight out of my chest and it HURT. Wow. But it was out and I immediately felt lighter and free.

So here I am, holding this metaphysical vine that represented a love I never thought I’d feel AND that I had nurtured for almost 2 years. I am sentimental to a fault, but I had to destroy it. Cutting cords of attachment isn’t about leaving them lying about. This is meant to decimate energy connections. I envisioned a fire and I watched the dried vine burn.

And then I did something interesting. I surrounded the fire with stone, sort of creating a pyre in a fire pit. I transformed this connection I’d killed into a powerful love beacon meant to attract my equal, a true deserving partner.

It was exhausting, but I felt incredibly clear and light and free when it was done. There are lots of cord cutting rituals out there, and I’m no pro, but after getting frustrated with others, this one worked for me.

Here’s what to do:

  1. Be ready to let the person go. Without strong, clear intentions, you’re just going through the motions.
  2. Get comfortable. Sit, stand, lie down, breathe, light candles, burn incense, take a rose petal bubble bath- do whatever gets you into your calmest state. You don’t need to sit in lotus pose (unless that’s your calm space)!
  3. Invoke your protectors (because energy work is vulnerable stuff!)- whether it’s the elements, the divine, angels, spirit guides, invite them to surround you with white protective light and help you.
  4. Envision the cords in a way that calls to mind the specific person or relationship- for a family member, maybe it’s an umbilical cord or tissue. For a friend or lover, colored ribbon, the gold chain of a friendship bracelet, guitar string, ropes, or maybe the fish hook thing works for you. If nothing comes to mind, try envisioning their zodiac element as a physical cord like a burning rope for fire signs, a swirling vortex of air, a strong water current concentrated in your chest or branches, weeds, vines for Earth.(Note: if you have energy cords to cut with multiple people, don’t do them all at once. Focus on one relationship to hone your intent and ensure your ritual is successful. Do the next one another day.)
  5. See yourself destroying the cord. Pull it out. Tear it up. Burn it. Blow it up. Bury it. See it washing down a drain. Whatever feels powerful and gets it gone.
  6. Thank your protectors. They’re awesome.
  7. Relax and reward yourself. Have a glass of wine or eat a piece of dark chocolate because that was spiritually tough and you earned it.

If you’re not confident it worked or you feel that energy still with you after a few days, try it again with a new combination of mediation and visualization. Eventually, the energy will align and you’ll be able to complete your ritual. Rinse/repeat for any unwanted or negative attachments.