Sunday Stats – 🎉Birthday Edition🎉

Posted on April 22, 2018 by CarneyVorous

*Since my family first got an NES, I’ve had a controller in my hands. Exploring new worlds, meeting new characters and experiencing stories… in some ways, I’ve just connected better with the world through games. However, it’s also very important to me to be present in my life, to improve myself, to go out and MEET the people I’ve connected with online and to expand my knowledge. I spend hours in games; how do I level myself up?

In this weekly series, I’ll chronicle how I’ve improved my “stats” with completely arbitrary scoring.*

LEVEL UP

TODAY is my birthday! I’ve officially hit level 34. In addition to my #Rebirthday tasks, I get:

Defense bonus – Now gives less fucks than ever before
Charisma incentive – treat yoself to a wardrobe refresh
Wealth check – birthday money + make sure that 401k is on track

And now back to our weekly programming.

+2 Intelligence – How did I make myself a little smarter? What did I learn?
I learned some valuable home improvement skills! Check out the before and after shots of the bathroom door a rover client destroyed. I’m ready for my own HGTV show!

+2 Charisma – How was I less awkward or more beautiful?
My family came up on Saturday so I had a lot of housekeeping to do. I made some repairs, threw out a ton of shit and really cleansed my tiny space. Additionally, I has a breakfast spread waiting for them when they arrived like Carney Fucking Homemaker of the Year. Look at me go!

+5 Strength – New workouts, breakthroughs, challenges.
I made it to the gym on Tuesday for a crushing workout, but next week I need to put in 4 days. It’s getting slightly less wintery out in NYC so I’ve been talking Muldoon for longer and longer walks again.

+2 Defense – Where did I consciously avoid or deflect negative energy?
I adorned my Passion Planner/Bullet Journal with an adorable enamel pin I found at The Strand. It’s a little fountain pen that says “mightier” in script – as in the pen is mightier than the sword. It’s a reminder that yes, words are powerful and this book is filled with power. But it’s also a mantra – I am mightier than I know. I am mightier than my thoughts.

Adorned my bujo with a mantra. #bujo #bulletjournal #pashfam #passionplanner #mightier #enamelpin #mightierthanthesword #treatyoself #mantra #strengthmantra

A post shared by CarneyVorous (@carneyvorous) on Apr 19, 2018 at 1:46pm PDT

+4 Luck – Something good that happened this week
On Wednesday, Spotify sponsored an extension of the David Bowie Is exhibit currently on display at the Brooklyn Museum. They decked out the Bleeker Street/ Broadway-Lafayette subway station (Bowie’s neighborhood stop) with photos, quotes and artwork from the Starman’s life. Some pieces have a Spotify code you can scan to hear his music. As part of the exhibit they made some limited edition metrocards available. There were 5 different Bowie metrocards and people were lining up for them. I managed to get one of the LAST full sets available before they ran out of Young Bowie!

ALSO- I scored an industry pass to E3 in June! Glux got a gamer pass and we’re making a girls trip out of our geeky week in LA.

+2 Wealth – How did I save towards my goals?
I got a TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR TIP from my Rover client. That’ll go a long way to replacing the toilet seat his sweet but destructive pup ate.

How did you level up this week?

#REBIRTHday

Posted on April 20, 2018 by CarneyVorous

This is the actual cake I ordered from Butter Lane

On Sunday, I enter my 34th year of this kick ass life. I’ve been going through some shit lately and decided my word for April would be RECALIBRATE. April tends to be a cozy month where I settle into old patterns and lose all the good new habits I’ve formed. Glux came up with the brilliant idea of a Rebirthday – looking at our birthdays (which are one day apart) as our personal New Year.

So in the spirit of my Rebirthday and recalibration, I’ve set some intentions.

In 34 I will:
Do more magic!
I miss having more rituals in my life. Lately I feel like I had more rituals in high school than I do now and back then I was in the broom closet! Aside from a handful of rituals, I haven’t practiced much. AND I want to share more spells here.

Breathe and meditate.
I feel stronger when my intuition is on point. Lately I’ve been feeling unbalanced. My goal is to set a regular time and space where I can take at least 5 minutes to center myself.

Stop letting anger win.
I’m genetically predisposed to explosive anger. I hold things in as long as I can and then when I finally snap, I burn the whole damn place to ashes. Sometimes I can’t forgive myself for the things I do and say. It feels like relationships are permanently damaged and there’s no way to fix them. Regrets like that don’t have a place in my life. I’m determined to talk it out, or journal it out and not light the fuse.

Take better care of my body
It’s not just about working out. My gym time always makes me feel fantastic. But along with my vitamin habit, I need to eat more greens and less sugar (after birthday cake, of course!). Cutting back on the alcohol wouldn’t hurt either, though Sunday Sips might need to stay a thing.

This week on #SundaySips we’re at a little spot with big taste- @bigalicebrewing in #LIC. Coziest taproom with a fantastic variety of beer styles and flavors. My flight is (right bottom to top): lemongrass kolsch, honey wit, sweet potato farmhouse (Left bottom to top): what’s up, doc?, queens honey brown, peppermint stout. #craftbeer #beerporn #nycbeer #lic #nyc #beerflight #bigalicebrewing #drinklocal #craftbeernotcrapbeer #smallbatch #queens

A post shared by CarneyVorous (@carneyvorous) on Apr 15, 2018 at 1:15pm PDT

Fortune-telling with d20

Posted on April 18, 2018 by CarneyVorous

There are so many different kinds of modern witches. Kitchen witches work rituals into recipes and turn their homes into vibrant, sacred spaces. Green witches work with lots of herbs and likely keep their homes full of plant-life. Love witches manifest through sexual energy. Tech witches probably keep several magical apps on their phone to practice. I guess I’d call myself a Geek witch. I’m inspired by and often incorporate pop culture themes into my work As much as I love my tarot cards, I discovered a fun new method of divination with a pop culture tool.

A couple weeks ago, I bought a set of beautiful black and gold dice to start playing Dungeons and Dragons. If you’re not familiar, the set includes a 20-sided die that you roll in game to see if and how well your desired actions work. Everyone has probably flipped a coin to make a decision in their lifetime. That action relies on “fate” or the Universe or “chance” to inform your action. But there’s a whole range of possibilities between those two sides of the coin.

Rolling the d20 is like flipping a coin, but it gives you a sort of insight scale to guide your decision. For example, if my character wants to explore nearby ruins, I’d roll for investigation. A 20 might mean she finds a rare treasure. 12 could mean she finds some gold pieces. 5 might find her surrounded by snakes or something. Typically, rolls higher than 10 have positive outcomes where lower than 10 could have neutral or even negative outcomes.

Glux and I used a /roll bot in Slack to plan our joint birthday party next weekend 🎉🍾👯‍♀️

Ok. That’s kind of a silly example, but shows a practical use, especially when you’re as indecisive as I can be! Unlike tarot cards, d20 works best for yes/no questions. The closer to 20 you roll, the more enthusiastically you should go for it! If you roll low, maybe think of other options or different timing. Interpretation is largely left to your imagination to populate the scale.

If you want to pick out a d20 to give dice divination a shot, consider picking different colored die for specific purposes: Green or gold for career, finance, or money decisions. Red/pink for love and relationships. Purple for creative pursuits and guidance. Of course, as always, go with what calls to you!

Do you use any unconventional tools?

Sunday Stats

Posted on April 15, 2018 by CarneyVorous

Since my family first got an NES, I’ve had a controller in my hands. Exploring new worlds, meeting new characters and experiencing stories… in some ways, I’ve just connected better with the world through games. However, it’s also very important to me to be present in my life, to improve myself, to go out and MEET the people I’ve connected with online and to expand my knowledge. I spend hours in games; how do I level myself up?

In this weekly series, I’ll chronicle how I’ve improved my “stats” with completely arbitrary scoring.*

+2 Intelligence – How did I make myself a little smarter? What did I learn?
I learned not to take on puppies at Rover clients anymore 😂 The little lady I’m sitting now is a total sweetheart… who is quickly destroying my apartment! She’s eaten a pair of my jeans, 5 pairs of panties, 3 socks, the bathroom door, 1 bath towel, her own harness and the toilet seat😱 Looking forward to her going home tomorrow!

+2 Charisma – How was I less awkward or more beautiful?
Due to the aforementioned puppy eating my wardrobe, I had to really dress up for work this week. Stockings, dresses, heels… I looked like a different person to my colleagues.

+5 Strength – New workouts, breakthroughs, challenges.
Not only did I get back into my gym routine, I got back on my skates for the first time since I destroyed my back two years ago.It’s a tough workout, but I’d love to build back up and try out for the Gotham Girls roller derby again.

+3 Defense – Where did I consciously avoid or deflect negative energy?
After weeks of frustration and feeling like I was in a constant state of panic attack, I decided I needed someone to talk to. However, finding a therapist in NYC is o-v-e-r-w-h-e-l-m-i-n-g. So I signed up for TalkSpace. Now I have a therapist I can text any time with any thought. It’s only been half a week, but I’ll let you know how it goes.

+3 Luck – Something good that happened this week
I went for a walk through Washington Square Park and found a photo taped to a tree. I picked it up and it directed me to the nearby Lomography store where I traded it for the item IN the photo – an accordion-style photo album perfect for my Instax and Holga photos 💕 It pays to keep your head up and your phone down while exploring the world.

+1 Wealth – How did I save towards my goals?
I scored a $50 Amazon credit for signing up for MealPal a couple months ago with a friend’s referral code. Maybe I can use it to replace what the puppy has devoured.

How did you level up this week?

Binding of Isaac Tarot Interview

Posted on April 13, 2018 by CarneyVorous

I’ve always viewed this deck more as a novelty – a collectible from one of my favorite video games ever, The Binding of Isaac. I’ve never used it before. This is a completely virgin deck! Until now. The cards depart from the traditional suit structure, instead calling on items from the game to represent suits. So I took some creative liberties to identify the parallels.

Keys = Wands
Bombs = Swords
Pennies = Pentacles
Hearts = Cups

Check out my other deck interviews.

Tell me about yourself
The High Priestess
I am the mediator between light and dark, the guardian of the unconscious and the link between reality and the inaccessible reaches of the mind. My understanding of the Universe runs deeper than The Basement.

What are your strengths?
Five of Pennies
Nothing distracts me from spiritual development. Coins may help you achieve success in the game, but in the end, it always comes down to heart. Let’s focus on keeping your heart full over your pockets.

What are your limitations?
Ace of Pennies
Don’t talk to me about the material world. I’m not interested in wealth or career issues. I want to help you manifest your inner potential and achieve your spiritual goals.

What are you here to teach me?
Ten of Bombs
How to survive taking the hits. Life can be a bullet hell run. The people you love and trust might back-stab you. There will surely be loss after loss after loss. Keep restarting.

How can we best collaborate?
Ace of Keys
Let’s just go for it. No instruction manuals. We’ll figure it out along the way, breaking through walls and unlocking mysteries.

What’s the potential outcome of our relationship?
Three of Keys
We’ll open doors to self-exploration and gain control of all around you. Your horizons will expand in all directions as we journey onward together.

Amazingly, in this interview there were a lot of subtle nods to the game in the personality of the deck! I was expecting darkness based on the nature of the game, but the energy is pretty playful. The game connects the earthly with the dark and the light, so I feel like this deck has a good grasp on bridging those realms to open my perception and intuition.

Want to know whats in your cards? I’ll read them for you starting at just $5!

How to Have a Panic Attack

Posted on April 11, 2018 by CarneyVorous

I struggle with anxiety and depression. I would like to be able to say that with the same lightness and social acceptance as “I’m suffering from a cold.” No one judges a cold because everyone gets them. Yet mental conditions, which can also happen to everyone whether temporarily or more lasting, are severely stigmatized.

My closest friends and family have told me I’m one of the strongest people they know. I’m proud of that. I’m a little afraid that if they know about my conditions, they won’t look at me that way anymore. But I’ve realized that having these conditions doesn’t make me weak, hiding from them does. Not talking about them does. Talking about them is giving myself the power to make a change and help others. So when mental health issues do come up in conversations, I talk about them casually and from my own experience.

If you’ve never suffered from a mental health condition, lucky you! You probably want to know how you can help a friend who is battling a condition. The honest answer is that I don’t know. Ask them. Sometimes I want to be left alone. Sometimes I want to be alone together. Sometimes I want a hug. It’s always different, but if you ask me in the moment how you can help, I will tell you what I need.

A public panic attack is pretty much the worst, but sometimes I have a severe panic attack on the street (writing this and thinking about it has my heart pounding and my breath shortening). The first thing I do when I feel it coming is find an alcove or non-busy doorway to scrunch myself up in. Then the hyperventilating starts. I try to stay low to the ground until I can get back in control so if I pass out, I don’t fall. Luckily, this is NYC and mostly, people pass you by. Sometimes people stop and stay with me, talking to me and offering help. They ask questions that help me get the shitty energy out by venting or they help me focus on something else. Most of the time, I have to pull myself together.

Some ways I cope are:
Focus on my breath, count each one
Put on my Songs for Survival Spotify playlist
Visualize my calmest memory
Text my therapist
Whisper a reassuring mantra to myself
Call my sister

If I’m home:
Aromatherapy – citrus or lavender are favorites
Focus on candlelight
Make some calming tea
Scream into a pillow
Draw a simple repetitive pattern
Lie in the cool, empty bathtub
Call my sister

Different things work for different people. And sometimes certain methods don’t work at all. But please don’t be afraid to communicate what you need and seek help. You’ll get through it. You will get through it.

Sunday Stats

Posted on April 8, 2018 by CarneyVorous

In this weekly series, I’ll chronicle how I’ve improved my “stats” with completely arbitrary scoring.*

+2 Intelligence – How did I make myself a little smarter? What did I learn?
I’ve been expanding my DnD knowledge by listening to The Adventure Zone podcast. It’s helping me learn the language and understand the breadth of gameplay possibilities. Last week, I created a tiefling rogue called Alaria for a one-shot game. This week we start our first full campaign.

-1 Charisma – How was I less awkward or more beautiful?
Every morning while making my coffee at work, I somehow drop a paper strip from the sugar packet into my cup. Despite the fact that I don’t (think) I’m tearing it open completely because I don’t use all the sugar, I pour my creamer in to discover a floating triangle of paper. I have to awkwardly fish it out in front of anyone who happens to be in the kitchen. This has happened every day this week. 🤦🏻‍♀️

+5 Strength – New workouts, breakthroughs, challenges.
Yesterday I ran the Hot Chocolate 15k in Philly with my sister. This was my 5th 15k and my 4th Hot Chocolate in Philly. I was really unprepared for it and hadn’t trained at all, but it was a great motivator to get my ass back into shape. I earned TWO medals – my finisher chocolate AND a retroactive 3rd year medal!

+2 Defense – Where did I consciously avoid or deflect negative energy?
My mom, my sister and I started a gratitude group text. Each morning we text each other something we’re grateful for to start our days on a positive note. I love this because they both wake up much earlier than I do so I get to wake up to a string of positivity and the knowledge that the people I love most are happy.

+3 Luck – Something good that happened this week
I got a super sweet surprise package from my longest-standing friend. Liz sent me a Rebel Tarot deck of oracle cards that don’t give a flying fuck about my feelings. I love it because this is exactly the kind of thing we would have had in high school when we first started exploring our witchiness. Answers with attitude.

+1 Wealth – How did I save towards my goals?
Quarterly update: I’m a little bit ahead of my 2018 savings goal! It feels really good to stick to this and not fall behind for once. I’m thinking about breaking this goal into pieces and shoving that money into my high yield savings or Stash. Otherwise it’s just sitting in this goal not doing anything. BUT it’ll feel so satisfying to see that 5k mark hit all at once and then move a chunk of money into savings.